Faw Down, Go Boom

So, I'm just curious... what word do you blurt out loud without any self-control when something unexpectedly unpleasant happens?

Apparently my free-association word of choice is the f-word. And I say it really loud, too.

***

Goodness gracious. I haven't done that in a long time.

Wipe out, bite the dust, take a spill.

I totally killed myself at the bakery on the way home from work today. I thought it would be fun to have a little chocolate chip cookie to eat on the train.

Fate was against me.

Upon collecting my cookie, I took maybe one or two steps before my entire self was falling to the floor as predicted by Newton's law of universal gravitation. I don't even know what I did.

Well, I do know what I did. I fell on every part of my body that was sticking out to keep me from falling: knee, left hip (ow, that one's gonna have a big bruise), elbows, heel of one hand, and even my iPhone (it still works!). But the most exciting part was smacking the left side of my head against a cement column. Don't do that. It makes a really bad sound.

While I was doing all of this stunt double stuff, I was saying the f-word at volume. And just to punctuate the moment, my hot little chocolate chip cookie flew out of my hand and landed on the sidewalk about two feet away from my head. Pathetic.

Everyone in the bakery was stunned, including me. Instantly I wanted my mom, a natural reflex, even at my age (but I would have had to lie there for an hour or two if I wanted her to drive up to the city to kiss my boo-boos). I did not cry, but the lady gave me another cookie and an extra one, as a bonus. I felt like I was five years old.

The point of all of this mini-drama made me wonder what it is in our brains in times of crisis that makes us choose to say one word over another? I mean, I could have said "Shoot!" or "Blueberry!" but instead I happen to choose another word.

I'm sure Oliver Sacks could explain this to me, but right now I'm just going to watch my step.

You people be careful out there, okay?

***

Another reason for this post is that in keeping with my continued unintentional penchant for associating little tidbits of my life to movies, I wanted to mention a Laurel and Hardy 1928 silent called We Faw Down. I haven't seen it in a long time, but I remember it fondly. This film was the precursor to one of my very favorite films of the boys, Sons of the Desert.

There, just thinking about Laurel and Hardy is making me feel a little better.

Three Men Who Made the World Smile

Happy Birthday, Cary, Oliver and Danny. We could use a few more guys like you around here these days.

Below are links to their biographical information, and some of their classic work on video.

Cary Grant
An article from The Atlantic.




A great scene from Bringing Up Baby.





If you haven't seen The Awful Truth, you are missing out on one of the best screwball comedies ever. It's one of my all-time favorite movies. (The whole movie is on youtube, and this is just one of the best parts, but go get the DVD.)




A TCM Tribute to Cary Grant, narrated by Michael Caine.



Oliver Hardy
Below is one of my favorite Laurel & Hardy films, Brats. The entire film is here below, in two parts. (Brats is not available on DVD, so having it here is a rare treat.)

And another rare classic scene: "Soda, soda, soda...and what will you have, Stan?" This scene is awesome.




Danny Kaye

Who doesn't love The Court Jester?

Hawkins: I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true! Right?

Griselda: Right! -- but there's been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace...

Hawkins: They broke the chalice from the palace?

Griselda: ...and replaced it. With a flagon.

Hawkins: A flagon?

Griselda: With the figure of a dragon.

Hawkins: Flagon with a dragon.

Griselda: Right.

Hawkins: ...but did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?

Griselda: No! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!

Hawkins: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon, the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.

Griselda: Just remember that!

Way Out West

Guaranteed to make you smile!
A classic scene from one of their best films.

A perfect* day in San Francisco

A slightly foggy, cool Saturday morning.

1. Wake up (always a good thing).
2. Throw on some clothes and go with a friend to Ella's for breakfast.
3. Get parking (!)
4. Share one of the famous sticky buns, chicken sausage benedicts and ricotta pancakes with strawberry sauce. Unbutton top button on pants.
5. As you're leaving, find out in the SF Chron that it's the 85th anniversary of the historic Castro Theatre and all movies are only 25 cents that day.
6. Speed down Divisadero and make it just in time for the 11am show.
7. Get parking (!)
8. Win a baseball cap in the pre-movie trivia contest because you answered the trivia question about Oliver Hardy's nickname (Babe).
9. Watch Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Tweety and Sylvester, and a Tex Avery cartoon.
10. See Way Out West, one of Laurel and Hardy's best films, on the big beautiful screen at the Castro Theatre.
11. Listen to all of the children giggle as you crack up laughing with them. Little kids love Laurel and Hardy.



*After the movie, find out that you got a parking ticket for $35 because the wheels on your car weren't turned into the curb enough as they're supposed to be when you're parked on a 3-percent grade, according to the ticket. (I left my protractor at home.)

So the movie actually cost me $35.50, but it was still a great day in my book.