motherlove.

Janika and Gabrielle (9 months)

***

The two of them arrive around 1pm, just as lunch is being served. Proud mommy Janika tells everyone, she's got a tooth! Her first tooth!

Women of all ages, colors, sizes crowd around mother and child. The baby, in her light purple sweatsuit, is definitely a rock star. She loves the faces surrounding her, the attention, the laughter and arms reaching out to touch her.

I'm at WDDC, otherwise known as the Women's Daytime Drop-in Center, in North Berkeley. The WDDC is a non-profit program that empowers women and children to move from the streets to a home. Not all of the women here are mothers. Some are single, older women: some homeless, some getting aid for housing. All are here for lunch and companionship.

The WDDC is an unusual place. It's a home, literally. Situated in a residential neighborhood, there's a kitchen with two volunteers cooking barbequed pork and yams, a living room with sofas and chairs and books, a dining area, and then several rooms devoted for client consultations and offices. The home is old, but still, it's a home. It feels comfortable and welcoming. Instantly upon my arrival, at least three people bid me hello and ask me if I need help. I can't tell if they're working there or the clientele.

I'm taken around and introduced to everyone. I tell them I'm there to collect stories, to listen, to take photos. I tell them I'm with Help A Mother Out, and that we help donate diapers here. Women who don't even have kids thank me for the diapers. Everyone realizes here that any assistance and outpouring of help benefits them all. Janika especially is so grateful for the diapers. She says," I haven't had to worry about diapers at all since the baby was born. Thank you!"

Some of the women are shy. They don't want to talk or have their photo taken. A couple others want me to teach them photography. We sit around the long tables while they eat their lunches and they talk about finishing school, finding new homes, getting jobs.

I will be back.

***

WDDC provides ongoing and intensive counseling, case management services, daily support groups, a comprehensive children's program, a variety of referral services, and a transitional housing program for for single-parent families.

Due to cutbacks, WDDC has had to lay off two key employees, one a counselor for the children. 

You can read more about WDDC here and more about Help A Mother Out here.

You can donate diapers online to WDDC or other Bay Area nonprofits here.


You can read more about our diaper drive and awareness raising efforts here.

Diapers for Everyone in 2010!

Can't start the new year fresh without a new project, right?

Some (many?) of you might be familiar with the young homeless family that I was helping last year. I'm assuming that most of you know part or all of the story but if not, the link is here. Blogging about K's story is how I came in contact with a lot of you in the first place. ;-)

Meeting K (the homeless mother and domestic abuse survivor) and her young children (ages 9, 7 and three months) was a life-changing, eye-opening happy/sad experience. I learned first-hand about the dangers, fears and daily life of a family living on the edge of society in my beloved adopted hometown: San Francisco.

Right after I met K, a young mother named Lisa wrote to me and asked how she could help. She met me at a run-down hotel in the Tenderloin, 2 kids in tow (ages 3 and 1), and brought diapers, bags of clothes and toiletries and nursing supplies for this family. I can't tell you enough how happy and needed these donated supplies were to K. Especially the diapers.

I came to know Lisa and also to help her when I could with her budding effort called Help a Mother Out (HAMO) which she had just started with a friend. Through constant effort, Lisa and HAMO have collected over 130,000 diapers for shelters, crisis nurseries in the SF Bay Area. The Bay Area does not have a diaper bank and there is no other organized way of helping needy families get diapers for their babies.

Why all the explanation?

When I was working with K and the kids over the course of several months, I learned a lot. Let me give you an example.

When I first met K, as a homeless mother, she was not on any sort of assistance at all. She fled an abusive, dangerous husband with all the cash she could gather and found a cheap hotel in the Tenderloin. That hotel was $60 a night. The day I met her was her last day in the hotel unless she could come up with more money (which many of you were kind enough to help with). The following month after I met her, she started to receive welfare. These are real numbers below. I became very familiar with them over the course of months last year.

• $583 a month for a family of four for housing (that means finding housing for $145 a week in SF. Try to imagine what kind of housing that will get you.)
  
• $380 a month in food stamps for a family of four ($95 a week/$23.75 per person, per week. That doesn't go far, trust me.)
• The part that gets left out... diapers. If you're on food stamps, it doesn't provide for diapers, just food. So if you're already struggling, you don't have any extra money for diapers.
• Also, diapers are expensive, especially in San Francisco where you don't have access to Target, Costco and big box stores or online. Small corner groceries, especially in the Tenderloin, means more expensive diapers than moms can purchase in other neighborhoods.

I'm using K's situation as an example because it's really how things were. I saw it with my own eyes. This kind of situation is replicated in many families just in the SF Bay Area alone.

Why diapers?

It doesn't take a lot of imagination to realize that a baby in dirty diapers gets sick more. Goes to the emergency room more. Means more stress and hardship for a child and a mother living under already incredibly stressful circumstances. Many parents can't afford diapers and food, so they get food. They try to wash out disposable diapers and reuse them. (BTW, laundromats have various rules about washing cloth diapers, and many do not allow it, in case you were wondering. And having enough cloth diapers on hand is obviously another expense most families can't afford either.) So if you're low income or homeless, odds are you don't have a washer and dryer for cloth diapers.

These kids get sick and that affects all of us. (I know in K's instance, she must have taken the baby to the emergency room at least six times.)

***

So now to the project at hand. What I'm working on with Lisa:

The Mother's Day Holiday Playdate (sometime in May 2010). So even though this may not sound like a lot here, our success at this event will dictate the direction HAMO can play in helping families in a more established and meaningful way.

• HAMO’s Mother's Day Playdate will be held in the Bay Area (most likely SF).
  
• The goals of the event are:
• to physically collect diapers and
• to raise awareness of the need for diapers, why families may not have access to them, and the health and social repercussions of going without diapers, and
  
• HAMO online gives people easy ways to help. (HAMO also has diaper drive kits that can be utilized in any city where someone wants to create their own event.)
  
• The event will be a 2-3 hour playdate at a location TBD.
  
• We hope to have a major sponsor to underwrite the cost of the facility rental (unless we can get a place to donate a few hours for the cause). We're working on it. But more than one sponsor is definitely encouraged and welcome.
• Guests are asked to bring a pack of diapers in lieu of the normal per child admission price.
• Attendance goal of 100 families.
  
• Invitation list will include bloggers, entertainment professionals, and social media and tech-savvy locals as well as local mom and dad influencers.

What we need:

• A place to hold the event (SF would be ideal but we're open).
  
• Catering or help with getting food and beverages
• Donated shwag for gift bags
• Media coverage – local print, web, radio, television
• Other nice to haves:
  
• Door prizes
• Live entertainment – musician preferred.
• Funds or talent donations to cover additional entertainment (ie: crafts, body glimmer art, balloon animals)
  

So that's the purpose of this post (if you've read this far, thank you!).

If you can and want to help in some way, you can do one or a few of these things.

• You can go online and purchase a pack of diapers on Amazon through HAMO's donation link that will be sent directly to one of the shelters or nurseries in the Bay Area. Now, or now and again in May.
• http://www.helpamotherout.org/donate/virtual/
• You can come to the event in May and bring your kid (if you have one), a package of diapers and meet us.
• If you have kids and know other parents that can help, please pass this on to them. Schools, nurseries, day care, churches, synagogues, other organizations... all around us are people who can help if they knew about it.
• If you have access to catering or food to provide...
• If you know people in the media or can help us network and get more exposure...twitter, facebook, blogs.
  
• If you would like to be involved in planning the event, let me know! We would like to have a host committee because Lisa and I can't do this all by ourselves.
  

Any or all will be most appreciated. I'm just getting started on this but you can't plan too early, right?

The Big Picture.

The Big Picture is that this event will kick off a month of awareness and diaper donations online through HAMO. Lisa has picked May since it's the month of Mother's Day. I have signed up to help her make this event as successful as I can. I'll be working on other projects with Lisa, mostly photographic, that will illustrate what we're doing, but this event is the most important part of the puzzle right now as far as the future direction of HAMO is concerned.

I am open to any sort of suggestion, advice, connections and help. Please contact me about any questions you might have, too (tangobaby2 AT gmail.com). Whatever it is you can do, and for some, a donation isn't in the cards (I can totally understand). But even passing this post along to others you know creates the snowball I'm looking for. I've experienced the snowball effect before and because of that, I know it can happen again.

I'm not a mother. I've never had kids. But even I know how a little something like a clean diaper can make a child's life better.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Julie

ps.: Facts to keep in mind:

• In the San Francisco Bay Area, there are over 60,000 children under the age of five who are living under the poverty level.
• The cost of a healthy change of diapers for one child is about $100 a month.
• Food stamps and WIC program do not cover the cost of diapers
• In low-income and homeless families, babies often spend the entire day or longer in a single diaper. Inadequate diaper changing leads to numerous health risks and problems.

pss.: If you live outside of the San Francisco Bay Area, you can do your own diaper drive. There's info on HAMO's website on how to get started!

Charming naked vintage baby photo found on this blog.

Rest for the weary.

I can't tell you how much I love this picture.

***

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the pillow, the smiley face, the sunset creeping along the wall of the lonely alley, and wondered who it was that left that pillow for some tired soul to rest their head on. Did the smile help them sleep better?

I'm sure that pillow is gone now.

I had the chance to meet Mark from Invisible People on Tuesday, thanks to Lisa of Help a Mother Out, and Colleen of St. Anthony Foundation.

I haven't had a chance to mention Mark's website lately, but if you really want to see how someone is using the internet to raise awareness and do good things, please check him out. (And of course, I'm always wanting more people to link to HAMO and St. Anthony's.)

Wishing you all a wonderful day, and I'll be back with more news soon.

xoxo

For the little ones...

These were the beautiful faces I saw today.

***

I'm so grateful to keep getting my perspective readjusted. Just when I am way too focused on myself (which is frightfully easy, unemployment or no), something comes along that makes me snap to.

Today I joined Lisa from Help a Mother Out to attend a family event with the APA Family Support Services in their Chinatown office. HAMO, who you might remember from previous posts, is doing something to help parents that our social service system cannot: getting much needed diapers and toiletries to low income and homeless parents.

It sounds almost too simple to be true, but diapers are not covered under a family's food stamp ration. Which means if you've got a baby, and you're on a fixed income, you have to use your precious dollars to buy diapers because your food stamp allotment won't cover them. And for those of you who may not realize it, diapers are expensive. Some mothers are forced to go without, or reuse diapers, which causes health issues for the babies and emergency room visits that could be avoided.

Wouldn't it be so simple to make sure that families can get the diapers they need without sacrificing food? It's been a while since I've written on such issues, and I only want to write when such issues are before me, so that you're experiencing what I'm seeing.

So if you can, check out HAMO's website to learn how you can help donate diapers that will be given to needy, grateful families and babies.

***

Being in Chinatown is always a joy for me. Being able to help in my way (photography-wise) with this family support center, which helps Asian families throughout San Francisco, was even more special. The people at APA provide valuable services to the families that come to them: parenting classes, English classes,

APA's goal is to provide family support services to prevent child abuse and domestic violence.

If my camera and photos help in any tiny way towards that goal, then I am truly happy.

For more info:

Help a Mother Out
APA Family Support Services

***

UPDATE 9/22 8:19am: Lisa at HAMO has posted the story behind our visit to APA yesterday. Check it out here.

Give Cheeks a Chance TONIGHT

Help a Mother Out (helpamotherout.org) is a wonderful cause started by two local moms, Lisa and Rachel, who wanted to make a difference in the lives of mothers. In a very short time, they've been able to donate much needed diapers, toiletries and clothing to the local partners they work with:

Homeless Prenatal Program
Women's Daytime Drop-in Center (WDDC)
Brighter Beginnings

Tonight is their Diaper Drive Kick-Off... if you're near Oakland or San Jose, see if you can stop by one of their events.

***

SWELL GOODIE BAGS FOR THE FIRST 20 DONORS!

GIVE CHEEKS A CHANCE! Help kick off HELP A MOTHER OUT’S (www.helpamotherout.org) month long diaper drive by joining us at SadieDey’s Café (www.sadiedeyscafe.com) on Wednesday, September 9th from 5-7pm.

September is a time to get back to basics - summer comes to a close, kids go back to school, life resumes its usual frenetic pace – and homeless/low income babies and kids continue to be in dire need of diapers and other basic supplies.

Bring the kids for a playdate and early dinner.* DONATE DIAPERS, NEW UNDERWEAR & SOCKS, and learn more about WHAT YOU CAN DO to help a mother out!

*Kids eat Dinner FREE at Sadiedey's
To celebrate the launch of our NEW Dinner events, ALL kids get a FREE dinner after 4pm for each adult meal purchase!

Scenes from a Saturday

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see." ~ John W. Whitehead, The Stealing of America, 1983

A creative table made out of a surfboard invites some to catch an indoor wave.


"If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all." ~ Pearl S. Buck

This big sister always knows how to keep her little baby brother happy. She loves to push his stroller and makes sure he has a pacifier or a bottle when he cries.

"It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." ~ Frederick Douglass

Good natured play and fun in front of the camera.

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million." ~ Walt Streightiff

Someone donated a ducky faced soap, which of course will be put to good use by one special little girl.

"One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination." ~ Sam Levenson

A donated straw basket in the hands of a bright boy becomes a turtle's shell.

***

Thanks to Lisa and Rachel of HAMO and our mutual friend Colleen for inviting me and K and the kids to a bagel brunch. We brainstormed ideas and sorted out diapers, clothes and toiletries.

K and the kids filled some bags with little soaps, toothbrushes, feminine hygiene products and a load of diapers, all generously donated through the outreach of Help A Mother Out.

It's amazing how a little soap, a new tube of toothpaste or a glass of fresh orange juice can make someone smile.

Please keep your fingers crossed for them. The possibility of a new apartment could be just days away... we hope, we hope.

***

ps.: K's daughter was voted Best Student out of her ENTIRE school! By both her teacher and her principal. She was awarded a special scholarship to an advanced summer school and as her mom told us about it, she couldn't have been any more proud. As we were too.

Busy Bee

Yes, more bees.

***

I can't help it. It's just so gratifying when you get a good bee shot. They are very difficult models. Plus, I practically have to stick my camera up their little bee bottoms to get these photos. This bee must have been humoring me.

For lack of a better metaphor, I'm going to bee busy this weekend. I'll be over with Lisa and Rachel at Help A Mother Out (HAMO) as they sort through bins of donated clothing, diapers and toiletries. And for those of you who want a K and the kids update, they will be joining us to help and play with the other kids, too. (I'll tell them you said hello. No apartment yet, but we're working on it, everyone is doing okay and I'll be keeping you updated.)

I met Lisa and Rachel when the story about K and the kids first started. They've been enthusiastic and stalwart supporters of my story but what they're doing to help mothers in need STATEWIDE is even more incredible. (And they just got a shout-out on Craig of Craigslist fame's blog yesterday.)

Lisa and Rachel are two young mothers with young kids who are making a tremendous difference in the lives of mothers and children who have been affected by these difficult economic times. Won't you read a bit more about them here?

About their diaper drive, which has been a huge success. But will always be needed and ongoing.
About the organizations they work with.

***

Thanks again, and I hope you all do something you enjoy this weekend. And one last plug and BIG thank you to Adam for the podcast we did last Sunday. If you didn't get to listen to it, I hope you will, and thank you to those who already have! (I've cleverly put it at the bottom of this post, just in case.)

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