The path of violence

I don't see the heroic here, just the terror.

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"...I think about every client who has come through our doors and their horrific stories of abuse - I cannot help but cry when I think about what the loss of our services will mean to victims. Those who walk through our doors have suffered through broken bones, beatings, strangulation, food deprivation, arson, torture, genital mutilation and unspeakable sexual violence. They have been thrown down flights of stairs, have been victim to violent physical attacks during pregnancy and have even faced the prospect of murder. Victims seek our services to escape incredible violence aimed at them and their children." ~ Executive Director Nicole Shellcroft, The Domestic Violence Center in Santa Clarita Valley

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Our disaster of a governor has cut 100% of Domestic Violence funding to create his Frankenstein budget. Forget about the kids that won't have healthcare. Forget about AIDS.

I'm trying to remember what was so horribly, terribly wrong with Gray Davis, that a duly elected official was recalled from office.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is to California what George W. Bush was to the United States. Only the kicker is that California citizens now suffer because of both of them.

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On the eve of K and the kids moving to their new home, I am heartsick to write this post. You know as well as I do that our fair city was unable to give this family shelter due to domestic violence and housing issues.

You know as well as I do that the only reason this family remained intact was because of the kindness of strangers.

But they are just one family. I am so fearful for the women and children who will die because of this budget cut. Domestic violence affects us all. It truly truly does.

UPDATE 11:07AM: If you are a CA resident, please please please sign this petition to restore funds for California's domestic violence program. If you're not a CA resident but have friends or family in the state, please send them this link. I don't have to tell you that lives are at stake here. Please do what you can to raise awareness of this and get these funds back to help fund the shelters that these women and children need desperately.

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Photo I took yesterday of the statue of Jeanne d'Arc at the Legion of Honor. What I wouldn't give for a strong-willed woman with a sword to take some of our officials to task right now.

San Francisco's Magical Telephone Number and the Angels of "They"

Does anyone know where I can get a pair of these in a size 7?

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Once upon a time, there was a little homeless woman with three small beautiful children. As a victim of domestic violence, where ever she turned, people told the mother to call a toll-free number that would put her in touch with shelters that could help her. They, the Angels of They, would know what to do. They could help her and her children.

The little homeless mother did just that.

She called the toll-free number almost every day, at 10am, like she was supposed to. For weeks.

And then, she called the shelters that the hotline told her to. Just like she was supposed to. Not just once. Many, many times.

And do you know what happened next, dear readers? Can you guess?

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Here is what happened. When the little homeless mother called these shelters, these were the kinds of replies that she got:

"We don't have any room right now."

"We don't have any room for a family of your size." (ie., one mother, one little girl aged seven, one son aged nine, and a two-month old baby.)

And here are the even better replies:

"Why do you keep calling us all the time?!" (because some people learned to recognize the little homeless woman's voice)

"I told you the other day we didn't have anything for you! Why do you keep calling?"

Now that's helpful!

***

And there is the truth of the situation. Not for just ONE family, but for who knows how many. Dozens? Hundreds?

On Friday, K finally had a chance to call a shelter that was willing to do an intake for her case. She waited for her call at 1pm (I know this because I called her beforehand to wish her luck).

She started to discuss her situation with the shelter worker, who was then interrupted and asked K if she could call her back to finish the intake.

And guess what? THE WOMAN FROM THE SHELTER NEVER CALLED BACK.

K called the shelter but they never finished the phone call. So not only was she not able to be helped by this shelter, she wasn't even able to finish her intake call so that the shelter could DECIDE if they wanted to take her case or if they were even able to help her.

And that, my friends, is how the system really works.

***

I told K yesterday that if one more person tells me to "just have K call this toll-free number and 'They' will be able to help her..." that I was going to punch them. No matter how well meaning they might be. I said if I had a freaking dollar for every person who's told me that already, I could probably have rented them a suite at the Palace Hotel.

K laughed and said, "Now you know how I feel."

Please keep telling your friends about this story, and the bigger and sadder situation that exists in San Francisco. I love this city, but day by day I become more embarrassed by how it can't help the people who need it most.

Well, now who do we turn to?

I just had a conversation with Dariush Kayhan of the Department of Homeless Services. You might remember that he was the person from City Hall who was interviewed for the KGO segment last night.

I had asked you all to help continue the attention on this story and contact Mr. Kayhan to see what he was going to do to help resolve this family's story and get them into a safe place.

It seems like you really did pull out the stops and apparently we've really ruined his day today. He was upset with me that I put his phone number and email on the blog. It must be almost as tough to get calls from people worried about a little homeless family than actually being the little homeless family.

But here's the interesting part: even though Mr. Kayhan is the head of the Department of Homeless Services, he tells me that his department doesn't oversee domestic violence shelters. He made a call for K, but outside of that, the shelter is a non-profit (funded in part by the city, perhaps?) and he can't control whether they accept her or not.

Apparently we should be speaking to someone from the Department on the Status of Women. Ahh, who knew?

So in essence, Mr. Kayush been working to help homeless people for many years, but if you're a homeless victim of domestic violence, you need to look to another department for help.

If I'm confused, can you imagine how a homeless mother of three might feel? Who just calls shelters day after day? And so who exactly should have been interviewed on the subject from City Hall?

So, please. Good people, leave Mr. Kayhan alone. He can't really help us.

But that begs the question... is there ANYONE in City Hall who can help? What's going on over there?

Well, that fucking sucks.

I don't have a picture of my pink slip because they don't give those out anymore. So I found a photo of a vintage slip because I hate having a post without a picture.

Hey, San Francisco!!! I'm available!

You hiring?

ps.: I can make cappucinos, too.