What it costs.

Last time I checked, I'm not a household name, SF Chronicle or not. Some of the commenters on the online version of the paper (SFGate) seem upset that I'm giving away my services for free. And in doing so, am taking away their ability to make a living.

I'm sorry, but I have to laugh. Brittney at Sparkwood & 21 makes the argument better than I can:

Take better pictures than everyone else, and you'll get paid before they do. But don't begrudge someone their hobby. Don't pretend that exchanging "modeling services" and writing the accompanying story isn't a fair trade.

Just because you have a big fancy camera doesn't mean you get to be a pro automatically anymore. Technology is making nice cameras more affordable, opening up the field to more and more. You don't get to be/stay a pro because you got their first.

Do good work. Try harder. Then you can and will make your money, and you won't have to worry about the amateurs.

***

I wonder about the people who leave those comments. I mean, can they really be serious? (Aside from the dig about my website, "Flash is sooo 90s", which I'm not sure exactly why that's bad but then I'm no computer genius.)

Up until that article in the paper came out, no one who commented there had a clue to who I was or what I was doing. I can't imagine that any of my subjects had been considering portrait sessions with other photographers and then cancelled them when they found out they could do something with me for free. Truth be told, the people who find out about me generally do so because someone else they know has done it, and they are enthusiastic about the idea of being part of a larger project.

They also want to share their story.

They are storytellers in their way. The photo shoot is almost a secondary thing for them.

It makes me wonder about abundance and lack and the perception of how big our own piece of the pie is. I've written about this before, because I find it so curious that people really don't see what a wide, wide world we live in. Even if I took portraits every day for the rest of my life, I wouldn't capture all the faces and stories in San Francisco. And what that has to do with taking away someone else's income baffles me.

There isn't one way to take photographs or reach out to people. People come to me because they like what I do or want to be part of something. Why should I be the only avenue for that? Just last night, someone wrote to me about wanting to start a project like mine in the city where he lives. I spent a good 20 minutes outlining how I got started, how I work and what a great idea I think it is. Really, because I do. What if there were i live here projects in all kinds of towns and cities? And people enjoyed meeting new people and sharing stories? Even in San Francisco, there's room for more.

I know quite a few SF photographers now who are on the same page. Many of us, like Plug1 and Brad and Thomas Hawk, do portraits and share stories like I do. I look forward to seeing their work and encourage them as they do me.

And all of us are "amateurs," in our way. Perhaps the pros need to realize that there's more to photography than stamping out the competition. There are faces for everyone to go around. More than one lifetime's worth, in fact.

But MY Red Velvet Cupcake recipe kicks ass!

And I wasn't invited!

Were you invited to the Board of Supervisors' Baking Throwdown?
What, is someone at City Hall trying to get a show on the Food Network?

You weren't worried about the city budget anymore, were you? I guess that whole budget thing worked out just fine. What were we all so upset about? And they had enough money left in the budget to make that special Cake Cape.

ps.: I'm sorry to sound like such a spoil sport. I'm back on the low carb thing again and it's making me really bitter and hateful of city politics. I even lied about the cupcake recipe: I don't have one. I suspect that this bakeoff is dredging up (flour pun intended) my long-buried childhood pain from never having an E-Z Bake Oven when I was eight... oh, but I digress...

Thanks to Emamd for sharing this little bizarre petit four of SF politics with us right before bedtime. I wonder if anyone wants to accompany me Thursday to Room 256 to see this special event. I'm unemployed so it's not like I have anything pressing to do.

Goodnight, Fog City. May visions of coconut cupcakes and tall angel food cakes fill your dreams tonight, without any calories.

And justice for...

in Chinatown

***

Prop 8 was upheld. I wish I could say I was surprised (sadly, I'm not) but I can't say that I don't have a stomach ache now. Because I do. This is pathetic.

Fucking pathetic.

But in their infinite wisdom, our state Supreme Court judges are allowing the marriages that have already taken place to stand. How can they rule on both sides of the issue like that? It makes absolutely no sense at all.

Let's chalk another one up for the Mormon Church and fanatical religious zealots all over. I'm so disgusted right now. I just don't have anything else to say.

Go to Courage Campaign and do what you can. If other states can have equal marriage rights, why can't California?

***

"War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting?" ~ The Value of Families

Play the New SF Game! All MUNI Riders Can Win!

I think this is brilliant. From the brand new site, "Where's Gavin?"
And thanks to Greg of the much beloved N-Judah Chronicles for posting this first.

I wonder if any of us can actually win this game? I sure could use a free Fast Pass.

***

We’re looking for Mayor Gavin Newsom. Have you seen him? We know he talks a good game on Muni and transit in our fair city, the City and County of San Francisco. But why doesn’t he also walk the walk? His advocacy and leadership for Muni has been noticeably absent even though, deep in his heart, he must know that the truly green choice is non-car transportation. So what are we to do? Apparently he has the lock on the capitulating Supes and just doesn’t get it:

When asked what he thinks about the fact that Muni riders are paying more than drivers in this budget (estimates say the ratio is 4 to 1), Newsom responded that’s only true “when the budget is taken out of context” and argued that over the years “it’s been fairly balanced.”

In order to make this mistake, he must be a car guy. But there is some hope! We only have this clue from the Chronicle:

He also rides Muni incognito, disguised in a baseball cap, and walks when he can, said his spokesman Nathan Ballard.

But going incognito means we can’t find him. So can you help us find him? Only you, the riders of our beloved San Francisco Municipal Railway, can find Gavin going incognito. And to get you excited, check out the sidebar to see what prizes you could win! The deep and resounding question of our time is not “Where’s Waldo?” It’s “Where’s Gavin?”

***

I'm still sick but this game did brighten my day a bit. Now off for some more tea. I stole the graphic off of the Where's Gavin site because it's better than the only photo I've got of him.

San Francisco's Magical Telephone Number and the Angels of "They"

Does anyone know where I can get a pair of these in a size 7?

***

Once upon a time, there was a little homeless woman with three small beautiful children. As a victim of domestic violence, where ever she turned, people told the mother to call a toll-free number that would put her in touch with shelters that could help her. They, the Angels of They, would know what to do. They could help her and her children.

The little homeless mother did just that.

She called the toll-free number almost every day, at 10am, like she was supposed to. For weeks.

And then, she called the shelters that the hotline told her to. Just like she was supposed to. Not just once. Many, many times.

And do you know what happened next, dear readers? Can you guess?

***

Here is what happened. When the little homeless mother called these shelters, these were the kinds of replies that she got:

"We don't have any room right now."

"We don't have any room for a family of your size." (ie., one mother, one little girl aged seven, one son aged nine, and a two-month old baby.)

And here are the even better replies:

"Why do you keep calling us all the time?!" (because some people learned to recognize the little homeless woman's voice)

"I told you the other day we didn't have anything for you! Why do you keep calling?"

Now that's helpful!

***

And there is the truth of the situation. Not for just ONE family, but for who knows how many. Dozens? Hundreds?

On Friday, K finally had a chance to call a shelter that was willing to do an intake for her case. She waited for her call at 1pm (I know this because I called her beforehand to wish her luck).

She started to discuss her situation with the shelter worker, who was then interrupted and asked K if she could call her back to finish the intake.

And guess what? THE WOMAN FROM THE SHELTER NEVER CALLED BACK.

K called the shelter but they never finished the phone call. So not only was she not able to be helped by this shelter, she wasn't even able to finish her intake call so that the shelter could DECIDE if they wanted to take her case or if they were even able to help her.

And that, my friends, is how the system really works.

***

I told K yesterday that if one more person tells me to "just have K call this toll-free number and 'They' will be able to help her..." that I was going to punch them. No matter how well meaning they might be. I said if I had a freaking dollar for every person who's told me that already, I could probably have rented them a suite at the Palace Hotel.

K laughed and said, "Now you know how I feel."

Please keep telling your friends about this story, and the bigger and sadder situation that exists in San Francisco. I love this city, but day by day I become more embarrassed by how it can't help the people who need it most.

We got on the news... but we're not done yet

Click on the photo above to go to KGO's site to watch the story...

***

First of all, I want to give a huge THANK YOU to all of you who continue to care and want K and her family to be safe and protected. It's because of YOU that this story has garnered any attention at all and you should all be very proud of yourselves.

And THANK YOU to Carolyn Tyler of KGO News for bringing this story out in the media and let's hope that something actually comes from this.

So my friends... we are not done yet. As you can see from the clip, there is no guarantee that K and her family will receive shelter at any time soon. And what does that say for the other families in desperate need, the ones we don't even know are out there?

Twitter This, Gavin

From yesterday's SFist:

"While Gavin Newsom tours California to tout his successes as mayor of San Francisco -- not to mention spending the weekend at the insider-baseball-y Democratic Convention in Sacramento, along with practically every other SF progressive and wonk -- he hasn't solved San Francisco's ails as thoroughly as he might want you to think he has...."

"While finding anything about homelessness on Newsom's site has proven fruitless, the San Francisco mayor talks about 'care not cash,' saying the numbers have improved. But 'care not cash' just isn't working, at least in this case. Yes, K has a social worker, but it sure doesn't sound adequate to keep her family on its feet. (She doesn't even have a way to keep milk/formula for her baby!)"

***

Yep, that's right. While Mayor Newsom managed to Twitter up $15,ooo for his gubernatorial campaign last week, you've got to wonder what exactly he did for this city that proves he's ready to govern the state. Jerry Brown, are you reading?

San Francisco is sorely lacking in shelters for battered women, which is an entirely different type of resource than a regular shelter. Facilities and programs for abused women and their families in dire need are few and far between here in San Francisco. Had the situation been otherwise, I would have never met K and her family.

Thank you, SFist, for getting out there and saying what needs to be said about what's not getting done in this city to help the people who need it the most. I was too busy trying to help K and the kids to twitter in my donation.

***

ps.: Oh, and Gavin, if you'd like to meet this mom and her kids to discuss how well your "care not cash" promise is working here in your city, I'd be happy to set up a meeting between your people and K's people. Email me. I'm not on Twitter.

pss.: And one more thing, Gavin, I know your Russian Hill penthouse is up for sale ($2,995,000). If you're traveling a lot for your campaign, I know a little family that could use a nice place to live until room in a shelter becomes available.

Michael Phelps, you should move to San Francisco.

Oh, are we still having that War on Drugs?

Funny, I thought we won that war. How silly of me.
So many wars, so little common sense.

***

This post is certainly one I had not expected to write because:

1. It's a rant and I dislike these kinds of posts immensely and avoid reading them at all costs, even when they are my own;
2. I don't take drugs and have never smoked pot, so I don't know what I'm talking about;
3. I'm tired and I'm supposed to be making some sauteed chicken breasts for dinner;
4. This isn't what I wanted to talk about, but...

I hate it when Google scans your email and "suggests" ads you might be interested in. Because I mentioned a bong in a previous post (green robe attained, fyi!), now Google thinks I would be most interested in reading about marijuana. Which I am not.

(However, if it wasn't for Google scanning my email and learning about my bacon fetish, I never would have stumbled across Baconnaise. So I guess this Orwellian email prying sometimes has its good points, too.)

***

This time I get a link leading to "CNN: Crime!" (the exclamation point and italics are mine) about Michael Phelps and his little indiscretion with a water pipe. Am I the only one who thought for now that perhaps as a nation, we might not for just a teensy moment be quite so Puritanical and retarded? (I realize I should stop using that word and it is terribly un-PC, but frankly I'm sick of being PC and I did see Tropic Thunder, which made that word funnily applicable again, in a very 7th grade way. We use the word in the privacy of our own home.)

***

I'm sorry, but this kid won a sh*tload of Olympic medals. And now sponsors might drop him? So what does this say about Mr. Phelps? That you can be an exceptional 23-year old young athlete and win a ton of Olympic medals and once in a while smoke pot? Do we have absolutely nothing else in this country to be concerned about? Don't sheriffs in South Carolina have much more major concerns in their jurisdictions? I bet they do if they looked around.

See, I'm ranting. I hate that. I should stop here and make my chicken breasts.

But all the same, I just hope upon hope that before I die (of natural causes many, many years from now) that America as a whole will give a sh*t about real education, literacy, healthcare, jobs, science, the arts, fair governance and not this crazy, ridiculous time and money wasting BS.

San Francisco is a town where you can get a contact high just walking down Market Street (near the Financial District, I might add) at 5pm on a Wednesday, and no one gives a hoot. I'm sorry, I really think we have bigger fish to fry than Olympic champions who actually could inspire more kids to be interested in swimming and getting some physical exercise than lighting a doobie.

End of rant. I'm going to chop mushrooms now. No more CNN for this girl.

Take the Douchebag Tour of San Francisco

Oh thank goodness that Bill O'Reilly had the guts to expose the truth about San Francisco to the world. Here I thought that this city was chock full of culture, with a fascinating and diverse population, a unique and colorful history, and amazing architecture, parks and views. Not to mention great shopping, a veritable foodie heaven and the "little cable cars that travel halfway to the stars."

No no no. Watch this video and see how snookered I've been living here. Again, I'm so grateful that Bill and FOX had the courage to air this piece. Even though Bill apparently associated the famous neighborhood of North Beach (where Coit Tower, City Lights Books, a vibrant Italian community and where the Beat Generation made its home) in the Tenderloin, now I know I live in San Fran Freakazoid-Trannytown.



Tell me that people who watch this show are secretly snickering that this blowhard is still the host of "Inside Edition" who got an extremely lucky career break. Either that, or he's doing a great service to our fair city, keeping his mindless flock with their embroidered fanny packs out of our cool town.

(Just so you know, I promise this will be the first and last time this a-hole gets a nod on my blog.)

ps.: If you've never laughed your ass off at some mercilessly embarrassing tourist photos at Fanny Pack Antics, then you are really missing something quite special. White tennis shoe wearers UNITE!

UPDATE: In response to Tara's comment, I've added a link to a segment from the documentary Outfoxed. This portion with Douchbag O'Reilly verbally assaulting a guest is one of the most powerful of the film. If you haven't seen Outfoxed (I own a copy but there are clips available online), you should.

What's the Word for This?

I know I'm not supposed to call people retarded.

Sarah Palin was crank called by a Canadian radio station, the caller pretending to be Nicolas Sarkozy. But the fact that Palin NEVER figured out that she wasn't talking to French President Sarkozy after about 10 seconds is pretty amazing. Clueless? Hopeless? Incredibly naive/stupid?

I'm sure this story won't be found anywhere on the MSM, but it's all over the European news. Quel surprise.

***

A few gems excerpted:

Sarkozy: "I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun." He proposes they go hunting together by helicopter, something he says he has never done.

Palin: "Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we're getting work done. We can kill two birds with one stone that way."

Sarkozy: "You know we have a lot in common also, because ... from my house (he pronounces it ass) I can see Belgium."

Palin: "Well, see, we're right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes."

The Sarkozy impersonator tells Palin his wife is "so hot in bed" and then informs her that Bruni has written a song for her about Joe the Plumber entitled "Du rouge a levres sur une cochonne," which translates as "Lipstick on a Pig."

The caller asks Palin if Joe the Plumber is her husband and adds: "We have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit."

He also tells the Alaska governor that he loved the "documentary" made about her and referred to a pornographic film with a Palin look-alike made by Hustler founder Larry Flynt.

She answers tentatively, "Ohh, good, thank you, yes."

***

Here's a BBC page that has the actual call and an interview with the pranksters, the Canadian version of the Jerky Boys. That brought back memories. Ahhhh, the Jerky Boys. Where are they now? This was my sister's and mine ALL-TIME favorite Jerky Boys routine. We almost peed our pants laughing. I told you I am immature.

ps. If you listen to the entire call on HuffPo, I don't know about you, but I get the distinct impression that Palin's aide is in some serious shit.

FREE Wardrobe Giveaway!

Girls! GIRLS! Listen up!

Not only have we made a million trillion cracks in the glass ceiling with our Aqua Nett'ed beehive hairdos, but now we have a surefire way to get an incredible new designer wardrobe in LESS THAN A MONTH! And it includes shoes, too!

Sound too good to be true?

It's NOT!

All you have to do is become a candidate for the Vice Presidency in 2012! And then you can have more clothes and shoes than you can shake a Hermes Birkin bag at! (Although you might want to pick accessories that are not so, well--you know...French.)

Let's leave the option for this fantastic clothing and political giveaway open to both parties because we don't want all of those poor Republicans we've been picking on lately to think that they get to corner the market on the most ludicrous news and incredibly poor judgement forever.

I wonder if all of those "real" Americans (you know who you are) thought all of Palin's new clothes came from the Wasilla Wal-Mart. (To be frank, I thought Cindy was being the ultimate gal-pal and footing the bill for Palin's duds. Clothes, I mean. Not "duds," as in what comes out of the candidate's mouth.)

Saks Fifth Avenue, New York and St. Louis: $49,425.74
Neiman Marcus, Minneapolis: $75,062.63
(To be fair, they only spent a few grand in Barneys and Bloomingdales, but those stores do kind of suck in comparison, imho.)
Total: over $150,000!

Now, if they had made this shopping spree a reality TV show, maybe called something like "Dressing Sarah: Forget the Lipstick!" or "Race to the Fashion White House!", they would have gotten ginormous ratings! Hell, I would have tuned in!

Thank goodness for campaign finance reporting! Thank goodness this spreading the wealth of people's campaign donations on clothing is enhancing the free market and American capitalism and not anything resembling that nasty socialism. Whew.

***

ps. I would totally consider running for office if I could finally get a pair of Christian Louboutins. I know some others of you would too. I could even save a campaign money because I can do my own makeup, and even do some touchups for my running mate.

pps. I know some of you might think that I'm a little jealous and bitter because I'm sitting here in a hand-me-down Dittmer's Sausage Haus t-shirt and some old sweat pants, and you might be a tiny bit right about that. But I really want some new clothes too. I'll even settle for Zara right now.

Photos stealthily lifted from neimanmarcus.com.

I Got My Lizard Tongue Update

And just when I thought there wasn't going to be a tongue image from last night.

I'm sorry to do this to you. But I can't have people just send me these things willy-nilly and then keep them from you. And I have got to start wearing waterproof mascara.

***

Yes, I am totally juvenile.
But this is what I have been reduced to. Plus, it's still McLovin Day.

Let's Get Something Straight Here

Man, I had to read this before I've even had my coffee today. A comment from eilandkind on my post, What We Learned.

I figured if I had so much hatred shining through in my political entries, I should share it with all of you and let you see my reply.

***

Water tangob, only water, maybe you should try that next time.
Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about the confusion liberal women leave me with.
I've been trying to understand your meltdown, as demonstrated by some feminists who want to jump out of high windows, because of desperation over SP.
I realised after reading your post, about Republican men and Barbie dolls, that it is the typical old story of liberals, who cannot, for the life of them, put themselves in the shoes of a conservative. At least intellectual conservatives can look at both points of view and make a choice, but it is impossible for liberal intellectuals, who seem to only be 'tolerant' towards people who think and act exactly the way they do.
You are dead wrong when it comes to the generalisation of Rep men, none of the Rep men (and that includes my husband) think the way you think that they do.
I have to wonder how many Republicans, you've actually ever met in your life.
I am totally baffled, I must say. Politics in the USA, taught me a lot more than what a doctorate in anthropology, would have done.
Anyway, I've decided not to comment on your political entries anymore, it is hard for me to understand how so much hatred can shine through in your political entries as opposed to your other entries.

***

Dear eilandkind,

Here it is, once and for all, and then you're welcome to read or not read my blog as you see fit. I really don't care one way or another.

I am a fiscal conservative.
I am a social moderate.
I believe in the separation of powers.
I believe in the separation of church and state.
I do not believe that the government should deny any woman an abortion or access to birth control.

Back in the day, before the Republican party began to appeal to religious conservatives with the election of Ronald Reagan, you would find that this would have been their platform. I'm sure even your husband would agree that his party's ideals have shifted somewhat.

If you can tell me that George Bush and the Republican party have upheld these ideals, please illuminate me and millions of other people who are heartbroken at the shambles that this Republican president has left our country in. We are in the biggest financial crisis that our country has ever faced. My two baby nieces and children all over this country will inherit the most massive debt of any country in history. Is that fiscal conservatism? Do you remember something called the Patriot Act? An Attorney General named Roberto Gonzales? We see our constitutional rights being unraveled before our eyes. All of this wilfully done under a Republican administration.

And you think that McCain and Palin are going to be a change from the past eight years? In 2000, I would have said perhaps, because John McCain was a different candidate then. Since then, he has given up any credibility of the "maverick" qualities he once had. Now that word is completely hollow. Check out the senator's voting record.

John McCain chose a candidate who is much less tolerant than even you accuse me of being due to her strong religious beliefs. There were several other qualified Republican women (Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Elizabeth Dole or Olympia Snowe, to name a few) but he chose one with such extremist beliefs that would ensure votes from the farthest right of the political spectrum, a small portion of the electorate, but a very vocal one. Strong religious beliefs are fine, but they have no place in the political arena. Go back and read the Declaration of Independence, which makes it very clear that governments created by humanity derive their powers from the consent of the governed, not from anyone's god.

The reason many women (and not just liberals or feminists as you are so quick to assume we are) dislike Sarah Palin is that they can see she is relatively unschooled and has a very narrow view of the world. She governs a state that has fewer residents than the city I live in and little or no access to or interest in diverse opinions, all of which does not convince us that her experience is even close to being relevant to the enormous job ahead of her, whether or not McCain would live out his entire term of office. She has never encountered people from other countries until quite recently and has never developed any world view. In her time as mayor, she ran her own small town into $25 million of debt. Look it up.

You are incredibly naive. A doctorate in Anthropology or anything else doesn't matter if you don't understand what is happening before your eyes.

Now feel free to move on. You don't need to keep checking in to see if I've answered your comment. Here it is.

I'm More of a Fortune Cookie Person Myself

But years before the fortune cookies, I was really a Bazooka Joe person.

Do you remember Bazooka bubble gum? The powdery dust on that hard-as-a-rock gum, how good it smelled, how you almost broke your jaw trying to chew it before you got enough spit into it to make it soft?

And the little cartoon folded up inside the wrapper, on that waxy paper? My sister and I used to collect them. You got a cartoon and a fortune. Remember? (And then Bubblicious got invented and that semi-disgusting Freshen-Up gum with the goo in the middle and we stopped chewing Bazooka.)

***

Anyway, I was just pondering my inspirations for wisdom since I did not ever notice that you can get it from Starbuck's cups, too. But Sarah Palin does:



I know it's nitpicky, but if you want to see what those words of wisdom really were on her cup, look here. But if she had used those words instead, the story wouldn't have been as cute.

I don't know why she's so down on us in California!

"Okay, now, thank you so much for receiving that well. I didn't know how that was gonna go over. And now, California, let's see what a comment like I just made, how that is turned into whatever it'll be turned into tomorrow with the newspaper."

***

And now I'm going to hell because I wouldn't vote for her because she's a woman? I thought I was going to hell because I was born Jewish. Or at least that's what some Born Again Christians have politely told me in the past. (Someone is going to have to explain the Rapture again to me because it is so confusing. Why is Israel so loved but we're still going to hell? Ah well, if there is a hell, I think I'll see a lot of people I enjoy there, so maybe it won't be that bad.)

I just learned that the real reason I don't like Sarah Palin has nothing to do with the fact that I am not impressed with her record and experience in the PTA, as a mayor or governor, her education and mostly, her positions on things that are important to me, especially when put into context of holding the second highest office in the country (or the first, if you consider Dick Cheney).

No! I've been undermining Palin because I'm jealous! Wow! Who knew?! Apparently Brenda Luscombe knows my motives better than I know myself. Which would explain why I posted that Barbie Doll head photo recently.

I'm such a bitch!

Does this mean Letterman won't be burning in Hell because he's a man? It's so not fair. Here it is... I'm allowed to think and vote and be a woman, but I'm still wrong.

***

ps. I don't know if you noticed, but the fortune on this particular Bazooka Joe comic says "Don't take a detour on the path to greatness." I should send that in to the RNC and see if a speechwriter picks up on it. heh heh.

pss. And if I am such a bitch like that article says I am, then I'm going to have to say that Sarah needs to apply her blush/bronzer differently. Applying that bronzer in a line back to her ears like that...it's sooooo Eighties. And she needs to blend.

psss. And do I have a crush on Joe Biden now? Yeah, I think I do. And it looks like I'm not the only one. Well, I've had non-traditional crushes before-- I've had the hots for Carl Sagan since I was twelve.

***

UPDATE 10/5: Looks like Madame Albright isn't okay at all with Palin misquoting her.
Her reply:

Albright responded to Palin's remarks in a statement to the Huffington Post on Sunday. "Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about which candidate has an agenda that will improve the lives of all Americans, including women. The truth is, if you care about the status of women in our society and in our troubled economy, the best choice by far is Obama-Biden."

Zing!

Katie Couric Better Watch Her Back

If these interviews with Sarah Palin keep getting aired, Katie better watch out for helicopters flying overhead...or she may end up like one of those wolves.

From you know where:

Katie Couric: You made a funny comment, you've said you have been listening to Joe Biden's speeches since you were in second grade.

Gov. Palin: It's been since like '72, yah.

Katie Couric: You have a 72-year-old running mate*, is that kind of a risky thing to say, insinuating that Joe Biden's been around awhile?

Gov. Palin: Oh no, it's nothing negative at all. He's got a lot of experience and just stating the fact there, that we've been hearing his speeches for all these years. So he's got a tremendous amount of experience and, you know, I'm the new energy, the new face, the new ideas and he's got the experience based on many many years in the Senate and voters are gonna have a choice there of what it is that they want in these next four years.

Yeah, right, Sarah. That's what you meant.

* Biden is 66 years old.

***

I'm sure you're like me and have worked with some poor soul (or two) who just got in over his/her head but wouldn't admit it even when it was painfully obvious. Here's an interesting perspective.

"Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments." The two Cornell psychologists began with the following assumptions:

• Incompetent individuals tend to overestimate their own level of skill.
  
• Incompetent individuals fail to recognize genuine skill in others.
  
• Incompetent individuals fail to recognize the extremity of their inadequacy.

These points in particular really ring a bell. Sound like anyone you've been reading about lately? What are the chances that Palin makes it to November 4?

Hungry for Obama: Brinner for Barack

My friends Amber and Mike (along with their kittens, Henry and June) are hosting a fundraising "brinner" to help raise money for the Obama campaign on Sunday night. (I did not know what a brinner was either, but it's when you have breakfast for dinner.)

***

In case you missed this article on the AP a couple of weeks ago, which is where this no-brow product package image comes from:

"Activists at a conservative political forum snapped up boxes of waffle mix depicting Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama as a racial stereotype on its front and wearing Arab-like headdress on its top flap.

While Obama Waffles takes aim at Obama's politics by poking fun at his public remarks and positions on issues, it also plays off the old image of the pancake-mix icon Aunt Jemima, which has been widely criticized as a demeaning stereotype. Obama is portrayed with popping eyes and big, thick lips as he stares at a plate of waffles and smiles broadly.

Placing Obama in Arab-like headdress recalls the false rumor that he is a follower of Islam, though he is actually a Christian.

On the back of the box, Obama is depicted in stereotypical Mexican dress, including a sombrero, above a recipe for "Open Border Fiesta Waffles" that says it can serve "4 or more illegal aliens." The recipe includes a tip: 'While waiting for these zesty treats to invade your home, why not learn a foreign language?' "

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Actually, what makes me laugh is to imagine the doofuses who designed this waffle box, so confident in their humor and congratulating themselves on how incredibly snappy they are, having their gut-wrenching comedic sense so far ahead of the rest of us dummies.

But what's really ironic is that the McCain campaign just naturally (all organic, no artificial flavors added) provides its own fodder for the late-night talk shows, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and more, just by being themselves. No one needs to make up anything about John or Sarah because they show their ineptness unaided.

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Isn't it amazing that learning a foreign language (as excoriated on that sophomoric waffle box) is presented to be a fault of character by the far right? Funny thing, I always thought having an education was beneficial to individuals and the world at large, but what do I know? I'm one of those dipshits that speaks French.

But then Thomas Jefferson knew French, Spanish, Greek, Latin and Gaelic. And we all know what a crappy president he was: The Louisiana Purchase (the largest land acquisition in US history that did not require a war), founder of the Library of Congress, founder of the University of Virginia (go Lala!) and all that other stuff, like drafting the Declaration of Independence...yeah, we should just eat our waffles and go back to sleep.

In advising his future son-in-law, Thomas Mann Randolph, Jr. on his education, Thomas Jefferson wrote, "With respect to modern languages, French, as I have before observed, is indispensable. Next to this the Spanish is most important to an American. Our connection with Spain is already important and will become daily more so. Besides this the ancient part of American history is written chiefly in Spanish.

Yeah, those McCain waffle pushers really know what's best. Wake me up when he fixes the economy. And bring me a side of bacon.

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UPDATE: Amber has kindly provided me with the Hungry for Obama link, in case you would like to host your own party, too. Hmmm, do we know any talented gourmet chefs in Milwaukee? I think we do!

So Much for My Friday Night

Wow.

And here I was all set to go to a debate-watching party after work, ready to skewer this guy with my elitist San Francisco wit and smartypants-ness and eat hot dogs with other like-minded souls who have not yet succumbed to the fantasy that this election is already over.

So, I ask you...in what space-time dimension am I living these days?

I thought the debate was tonight.

Apparently I missed it.

Did John McCain fix the economy and win the debate while I was sleeping? My god, he's fast! I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow and we'll already be invading Iraq AND Russia under President Palin.

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If the Federal Government had its shit together, they would just start spiking our water supply with lithium. It would just make things so much easier for all of us.

Makeup Artists Should Unite to Help John McCain Help Himself and the Economy

I really don't know how I missed this story, truly. I'm starting to feel like The Onion is somehow getting its joke news stories leaked to the AP and then they're getting printed as somewhat actual news.

According to an article in US Weekly (not a place where I usually look to for news of note, but it works while in the nail salon):

"The 72-year-old was recently made TV-ready by makeup artist Tifanie White who's worked on So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol.

McCain paid the 2002 beauty-school grad $5,583.43 for her services, according to the Federal Election Commission."

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Okay, I'm a beauty school grad, too (really, I am not making this up), and I would not have charged him five grand for a makeover. Hell, he's not even a bride! Although I wonder why he did not hire someone from Stan Winston Studios because doing makeup on someone who is almost dead requires a completely different type of artistry than bridal makeup.

(Actually, I just decided that I would have charged him five thousand dollars plus!!!, and then would have donated the money to something useful, like this or this or this--look, Obama's doing it.)

On second thought, maybe this gal is an Obama supporter and she's giving McCain the shaft since he has 8 homes--you must watch this awesome video of his houses!--, 13 cars and can obviously afford a $5K makeover. She must be really talented because I'm sure she had to do some special effects makeup on this guy to wipe that frozen creepy grimace off his face.

Unretouched skin under bright lights is unappealing and cameras do distort the features and add weight (look at what happened to Nixon in his debate with Kennedy...oh wait! We're reliving that now! Maybe McCain hasn't found makeup that will stand up to the intense facial sweating he might undergo if he actually has to proceed in a debate with Obama and try to put two sentences together in a row that aren't vengeful or blameful or basically false). Or maybe it's because McCain has a habit of canceling debates, like he did in another election year?

John Edward's haircut is looking like quite a bargain now, isn't it? (Funny thing though. I guess assorted GOP operatives labeling Edwards the "Breck girl"; Ann Coulter calling him a "faggot"; and Rush Limbaugh asking whether Edwards might be our "first female President"--those comments only apply when the Republicans are talking about the Democrats! Oh, I get it. It's okay to get your makeup done if you're a War Hero.)

Because I know that the Republican candidate isn't too savvy with computers by his own admission (or the economy either, but I can't help him with that one), I invite John McCain's future makeup artists to read a post I wrote that is great for people looking for cosmetics but happen to be on a budget. (Or Cindy, maybe you can print this out for your husband so he can read it on the No Talk Express bus.)

Perhaps he can save that $5K and spend it on something more useful, like universal healthcare. We're socializing Wall Street, so why not get some yearly checkups thrown into the bargain?

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The only miracle makeup artists cannot perform is painting a brain on Sarah Palin.

I am relishing this transcript of her interview with Katie Couric. I was on the debate team in 8th grade and even I could have done a better job as a 12-year-old in the interview (here I go again, being an elitist).

Let's face it: if you're going to make sh*t up and speak it as the truth in front of the whole world, you'd damn well better practice your story to perfection so you've got it down pat when someone calls you on it.

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know? Reporters--

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia--

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state.

UPDATE: HOLY SH*T! Please tell me you watched the Palin interview. Here's the link again if you have not. I can't say too much more without my head exploding. Please watch this so I am not alone in my utter disbelief that this is not a SNL skit.