oh, fuck it all.

I am trying to get my mother effing prints framed today for my show at Tedda Hughes at the end of the month. A normal person would think this would be easy. This should be my happy day... my photography show is coming up!

But no. It's not easy.

***

The frames don't easily accommodate the mats I've picked, which means I am using a butter knife and a hammer (don't ask) to make things work.

Once I get the mother effing print and mat inside the frame, it's looks like I've also framed a pubic hair, wedged between the mat and the glass. It's not a pubic hair but it might as well be. Now I can't get the effing frame apart. [Note to self: do not use the wool rug as a staging area for framing.]

I blow into a wedge between the glass and the mat to see if I can dislodge the hair, but now all I've done is fog up the glass. And now there's dust in there too.

Fuck me.

I should at least put on a bra and brush my hair. I did break a nail with the hammer/butter knife combo but I have not given up yet.

And then, to top it off, I have unwittingly pissed off someone in Greece.

Hi Tangobaby (blogger buddy)

I don't follow you anymore (don't cry).

So, no other complains from me anymore.Actually I regret so much,that I've sent you those e-mails and commended on your posts.

I shouldn't done that.It seems you dislike Greece. I'm sure.! Only if you knew what Greece/Greeks are for the world.

You should learn...

I know you'll believe me when I tell you I have no idea who this person is.

The fact that I am low carbing it right now and have absolutely NO Ben & Jerry's and NO chocolate stashed away is so completely unfortunate and if was I wasn't still running around with a knife and a hammer, braless, I would go outside to get some Cherry Garcia, but now I'm worried what might happen next.

I probably shouldn't even be writing this.

Please send chocolate or a professional framer.

Stop What You're Doing Right Now

Stop. Don't write that book. Don't compose that music. And please... don't take that photo.

Just stop.

Haven't you realized this already? Everything you're planning on doing has already been done.

Besides, some one else had the idea first so you really should stop thinking, while you're at it.

Cease and desist. That's what the cops say, right?

***

I just got the most bizarre email. I've been told that I'm "using (re: stole?) [this person's] idea to photograph the people of San Francisco." Wow. I didn't realize that such a novel idea as that had been copyrighted. I also didn't see where you line up to get your photo taken.

All you people on SF flickr groups, you gotta stop taking photos of your friends. You're using her idea too, and she might send you an email also. And all of you great local photo bloggers, like you and you and you and you and you and you, no more photo shoots. Even if you're a pro. There's a new game in town, and you're not it. Sorry to have to be the bearer of bad news. Even you, you staff photographers for SF Gate, I know it's your job to take pictures of people in San Francisco, but you guys better find something else to do.

But for those of you who wrote to me and encouraged me to tell you more stories of the people of this city, and those of you who've asked me over time to take your photos, I'm gonna say abso-fucking-lutely and let me get some batteries.

So, I'll be seeing some of you on the other side of the camera soon. And for those of you who missed it, the SF photo project is here.