I am trying to get my mother effing prints framed today for my show at Tedda Hughes at the end of the month. A normal person would think this would be easy. This should be my happy day... my photography show is coming up!
But no. It's not easy.
The frames don't easily accommodate the mats I've picked, which means I am using a butter knife and a hammer (don't ask) to make things work.
Once I get the mother effing print and mat inside the frame, it's looks like I've also framed a pubic hair, wedged between the mat and the glass. It's not a pubic hair but it might as well be. Now I can't get the effing frame apart. [Note to self: do not use the wool rug as a staging area for framing.]
I blow into a wedge between the glass and the mat to see if I can dislodge the hair, but now all I've done is fog up the glass. And now there's dust in there too.
I should at least put on a bra and brush my hair. I did break a nail with the hammer/butter knife combo but I have not given up yet.
And then, to top it off, I have unwittingly pissed off someone in Greece.
I know you'll believe me when I tell you I have no idea who this person is.
The fact that I am low carbing it right now and have absolutely NO Ben & Jerry's and NO chocolate stashed away is so completely unfortunate and if was I wasn't still running around with a knife and a hammer, braless, I would go outside to get some Cherry Garcia, but now I'm worried what might happen next.
I probably shouldn't even be writing this.
Please send chocolate or a professional framer.