The Norma Desmond of Golden Gate Park

(If you aren't into dragonflies, you might skip this post.)

While strolling in the Botanical Garden today, a trio of friendly young ladies pointed out a dragonfly to me, a remarkable creature who was happy to pose for the camera.

It sat there so still that I wondered if it was dead. But then I startled it and it flew away... only to come right back and resume posing for its closeups.

I got the feeling that this dragonfly quite enjoyed having its picture taken, and kept hearing a tiny Norma Desmond voice in my head.

"I am big. It's the pictures that got small."

"You see, this is my life! It always will be! Nothing else! Just us, the cameras, and those wonderful people out there in the dark!... All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."

Learning from the birds and the bees

In my room, the world is beyond my understanding;

But when I walk I see that it consists of three or four hills and a cloud. ~ Wallace Stevens

***

Today, the Little Pity Party. (I hate attending this party, even though I'm the hostess.)

Trying to get health insurance that I can afford (is there any such thing?) because COBRA is such a ridiculous joke that they obviously price it so that people can't afford to have it.

The landlords changed their minds and now won't give us a temporary reduction on the rent even though they said they would and we've paid them almost $80K in two years. They've owned this building for 40 years. It's paid for... fuck 'em. I'm not even getting into it.

I started doing my mental Rumplestiltskin thing so I took myself over to Golden Gate Park for a little cool down session.

The bees were busy.


The ducklets were following their mom around the pond.

No one here at the park has time for a pity party. They're all busy gathering pollen, learning to swim. They've got stuff to do and they're doing it.


I found a new place to sit and feel like things are going to be fine:
the Sky Garden at the de Young.

I sat in this concrete dome, looking at the sky through the hole in the roof and thought I have so many things I want to do, so many things I want to accomplish. And right now I'm not doing these things. I'm getting all hung up on stuff that just turns my mind in circles. So what's my story, morning glory?

I need to get back on track. Like now. No one else is gonna do it for me.

If baby ducks and bumble bees can get their shit together, so can I. They might be fuzzier and cuter than I am, but I won't let that stop me.

Okay, back to the drawing board.

xoxo

wash me clean

Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby. ~ Langston Hughes

***

I'm sure I broke a cardinal rule today.

I got my camera wet.
Actually I got all of me a bit rain-soaked, but it's probably not such a hot idea to get your camera wet.

But I think it was worth it.

There's a whole new world in a water droplet.

Everything is softer.

Blurriness and focus work together to create a new image.

Some things look a little more luscious.

The wet bark of this tree glistened like skin, like a person. I couldn't help but touch the smoothness. I fancied this indentation was a tree navel.

Even the tiny forget-me-nots were bejeweled.

A world of teardrops.

Paths to stray from... perhaps?

And mysterious pools sheltered fallen leaves.

For once, I had the park all to myself.

Almost.

And then I saw her, him...

Preening. La toilette.

How beautiful can a feathered being be?

Very beautiful.

***

Needless to say, I was captivated by the white heron. Watching the bird reminded me of a beautiful song I haven't listened to in ages. But is perfect for these images and the mood of the day. "Wash Me Clean" by the amazing k.d. lang.




You swim
Swim through my veins
Drown me
In your reign

My desire
Carries no shame
My will
Will harbour no pain

Wash
Wash me clean
Mend my wounded seams
Cleanse my tarnished dreams

Drink
Drink from my spell
Quench
Love's drying well

Wash
Wash me clean
Mend my wounded seams
Cleanse my tarnished dreams

Look at It This Way

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." ~ Mark Twain

"One does not see anything until one sees its beauty." ~ Oscar Wilde

" The question is not what you look at, but what you see." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"I am a part of all that I have seen." ~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson

"What has happened makes the world. Live on the edge, looking." ~ Robert Creeley

"The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." ~ Marcel Proust

"My spirit has ways of seeing that my eyes cannot comprehend." ~ Philippe Benichou

"Art is not what you see, but what you make others see." ~ Edgar Degas

"The eye encompasses the beauty of the whole world." ~ Leonardo da Vinci

"One eye looks within, the other eye looks without." ~ Henri Cartier-Bresson

"Seeing is a gift that comes with practice." ~ Stephanie Mills

"With repetition, the alternate approaches become clear, options open." ~ Robert Genn

"No object is mysterious. The mystery is your eye." ~ Elizabeth Bowen

“There are always flowers for those who want to see them.” ~ Henri Matisse

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens." ~ Carl Jung

"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order." ~ John Burroughs

“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.” ~ Jonathan Swift

“Only those who look with the eyes of children can lose themselves in the object of their wonder.” ~ Eberhard Arnold

***

Thanks for seeing here with me. It's late...I'm sleepy. More later.

xoxo

Friends and Lovers

"A startlingly white face retreating into the darkness of the garden. She poses for me as she leaves. I want to run out and kiss her fantastic beauty, kiss it and say, 'You carry away with you a reflection of me, a part of me. I dreamed you, I wished for your existence.'" ~ Anais Nin, Henry and June

Today.
Autumn.
Shakespeare's Garden.
Thank you.
xoxo

Drive By Dahlias

The Boy picked me up from work and we did a drive-by of the Conservatory of Flowers at Golden Gate Park, which is near our home. I caught the last of the sun on the most amazing dahlias I've ever seen...and must go back for more. These blooms are amazing!

In the Language of Flowers, dahlias represent Elegance and Dignity. I'd agree...wouldn't you?