Three Months Ago Today

Three months ago today, my life changed in a way I never would have expected it to.

Three months ago today, a young mother struggling to fight back the tears as people walked past her on their way home (home, to their homes) as she held up a sign written in colored marker and decorated with some glittery stickers that her beautiful seven-year old little girl gave her, a sign pleading for enough money to pay for that night's shelter: she and her young family stood cold and crying on a cold afternoon sidewalk in the canyon of tall banks and glass windowed buildings on a cold and windy street in San Francisco.

Three months ago today, my life intersected with these lives and this little family became my conscience and my sadness, my hope and my passion.

It seems like forever ago but it was only three months ago.

How lives can change in such a short time.

***

For those of you who have been following this story and the updates since Day One, thank you.

For those of you who listened to Adam's podcast and shared your comments and thoughts, thank you.

For those of you who took the time to repost or retweet the original story and the updates, sometimes as many times as I did, thank you.

For those of you who wrote K a note or a letter, even though you had never met her and never will, and gave her hope and let her know you cared about her and her family, thank you. She received each and every one of your letters.

For those of you who found you could donate some money, thank you. For those of you who donated a little refrigerator, clothes and diapers, food and toiletries, adorable stuffed animals, and a beautiful writing journal, thank you.

For those of you who didn't give up on this little family, thank you.

***

You and they have given me the proof that people are good and kind and want to be so.

That might be the greatest gift of all.

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come." ~ Anne Lamott

***

UPDATE: It's funny to have an update to a post that hasn't been published yet, but I got this information after I had written the text above, but before I was ready to hit Publish Post.

It's too perfect, too wonderful and oh so real.

K called me. Her apartment is almost ready.

She and the kids will be moving into their new home on August 4.

On August 4, they will no longer be homeless.
Her son will have his own room, and hopefully he will get a football comforter for his new bed.
Her daughter will have her own room to decorate with all of the Hannah Montana and High School Musical posters that four new walls can handle.
The baby will have a crib, finally. He has never slept in one.
K will have her own room, her own bed.
Her own life.

If you're shedding a tear while you're reading this, you're in good company and I think that this is the best kind of crying.

I will be seeing K today and we are going to start putting together a wish list for the new house. I will keep you posted on that because I know some of you might like to help with donations of house-things.

This update seems to be the best sort of way to end a post that already had an ending, but wouldn't you know it, life just goes and surprises you like that sometimes.

just another straight white girl for gay marriage

It felt good to get out on the streets and be with lots and lots and lots of other people who know that you can't legislate love, you can't legislate what a family is, and that separate is not fucking equal.

My feet hurt (we walked a lot), my back is sore (ditto), but my heart feels better.

This proposition is going to get turned around. Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day. But it will.
The hateful dinosaurs will be extinct soon. Their day in the sun is ENDING.

More later... it took forever to get home. Let's say public transportation was not running the way it should tonight.

xoxo

Building Truth

I took this photo yesterday during my Free Friday excursion and it seemed most appropriate for a note of thanks...

***

I wanted to thank

Liz at Eternal Lizdom
The Pink Cowboy
and new reader Dear Jesse McCartney
and new reader Flartus at My 2 Sense

for taking up the torch and posting the Fidelity video on their blogs with their own thoughts and insights. Reaching out and building consensus, educating and sharing, these are some of the gifts of participating in blogging.

You can still sign the petition at Courage California. The signing period ends on Valentine's Day.

xoxo

Don't Divorce Us: Fidelity

I have watched this video three times today, and it's made me cry each time.

A month from today, the California Supreme Court will hear oral arguments, deciding within 90 days on the validity of Prop 8 and futures of the 18,000 marriages that took place last year before the election. One of my coworkers was proudly married before Prop 8 passed. And I still remember the joyful couples I watched get married on the steps of City Hall not so long ago.


"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

You can read more here at Calitics, where I found the video. Still waiting for this country to get its heart in the right place for everyone... maybe March 5 will be a new beginning in the most loving direction.

***

UPDATE 2/06, 7:33am: Good morning lovelies. I woke up to such great and heartfelt comments to this post this morning. Thank you for sharing.

On that note, please do read Cynthia's comment about the tragic story of her mother and her partner, and the documentary about their lives and deaths. The link in the comment is incorrect. You can learn more about the Pittman Puckett Documentary at their blog and the official website. The story is heartbreaking, and as Mari mentioned too, this is the 10-year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's murder.

AND, as Gabby so astutely mentioned, the list of donors who contributed to the Yes on 8 campaign now can be found at the California Secretary of State. Check it out here. And here is the list of those who donated in excess of $1000. You'll notice quite a few out-of-state large donors on that particular list. Lots of $$$ rolling in, and quite a bit from outside of California. Read the post on Calitics, and you may find the sizeable reimbursements to certain individuals very disturbing.

AND, go to Courage California's website, who made this touching video, and sign their letter to the state Supreme Court here.

You'll Never Guess Who I Saw Friday Night

10:30PM. I'm on the N-Judah train coming home from downtown. Sarah Palin herself is about five feet away from me, wearing her red skirt suit, black pumps and trademark sexy librarian glasses. In her folksy manner, she's identifying the mavericks on the train, and the passengers are loving it. They're asking her about where the real Americans live (her answer: Alaska) and what she likes to read (her answer: everything). She's also talking about the Communists in America.

And you'll never guess who was sitting next to her! You guessed it: Joe the Plumber. But he had grown a head of dark, thick hair so I didn't recognize him until he pulled a wrench out of his pocket. (I thought he was Todd.)

Yes, Halloween night on the N-Judah. I also saw Amy Winehouse, Gwen Stefani, a cute girl bee with a skateboard and a pregnant nun, just to name a few more revelers.

However, I did not have my hands free to take photos of them for you and for that, I apologize because everyone looked festive and wild and was having a rollicking good time.

***

Returning home, my hands were full of books and information from the second installment of my Mental Stimulus Package (man, I forgot to tell you about the first part with Ben Frankin and the glass armonica. Next time.).

I went to The Leakey Prize Laureate Lectures, honoring Dr. Jane Goodall and Dr. Toshisada Nishida, at the Herbst Theatre. From the program description: The Leakey Prize was established in 1990 to reward intellectual achievement and express appreciation for research performed with courage and perseverance in the fields of ape and human evolution. Both Dr. Goodall and Dr. Toshisada Nishida will discuss the highlights of their pioneering careers. Through their diligent work, these scientists have shaped the field of primatology and uncovered pivotal findings that help us better understand one of our closes living relatives, the chimpanzee.

I don't even know where to start in describing the feeling of seeing Dr. Goodall on stage, speaking in her trademark calm, collected yet passionate story of her early years, her tutelage under Dr. Louis Leakey and the incredible faith he placed in her, and her deep desire to help reverse years of environmental damage and endangerment of many animal species, not just her beloved chimpanzees of Gombe.

If you're like me, you grew up reading Jane Goodall's books, watching her on National Geographic television specials. I also was secretly envious of her son, Grub, who got to spend his childhood living amongst the tribe of chimpanzees that Goodall studied for almost 30 years.


“The most important thing is to actually think about what you do. To become aware and actually think about the effect of what you do on the environment and on society. That's key, and that underlies everything else.” ~ Dr. Jane Goodall

I saw Dr. Goodall speak once before, when I was in college and she visited my university. Then the talk was about the chimps, and her work with them. The talk this year was different. Dr. Goodall travels about 300 days of the year, all over the world. She talks about preserving animal habitats and shared stories of the villages that her foundation has helped, encouraging safe farming habits, microloans to women, keeping girls in school and reforestation techiques, all of which have greatly improved the lives of villagers that had been deforesting areas of Tanzania and endangering the habitats of chimpanzees and many other animals. Her talk focused on how improving and educating the people has only served to enhance and improve the lives of the animals she struggles to save. Through the Jane Goodall Institute and her outreach program for children called Roots and Shoots, she has been doing extraordinary work outside the forests of Tanzania.

I could not help relating her talk to the tempestuous presidential campaign and the incredible need for effective and immediate science and math education for our kids to maintain our standing in the world as a leading nation (I won't even begin to address that Sarah Palin fruit fly debacle) not to mention the important contributions that studying chimpanzees, our closest living relatives on the evolutionary ladder, holds for the understanding of our own species.

It became vitally clear to me that not only are we poised to destroy an amazing link in evolutionary biolology (over 1,000,000 chimpanzees in 1960s down to about 200-300,000 today) but we are losing such a stronghold by not teaching our children how important science is in the real world to protecting the only planet we have. Our presidential election only emphasizes the polarity in our approaches to these crucial subjects.

***

From a recent speech: “What gives me hope,” Dr. Goodall says, “is the amazing capacity of the human brain to come up with innovative solutions, the indomitable human spirit that fights back, and the resilience of nature.”

“It’s time to recreate the age of wisdom when elders would gather and ponder how any decision they would make would affect our future seven generations down the line,” says Goodall. Quoting the words of an Eskimo leader, she concluded: “Up in the north, the ice is melting. What will it take to melt the ice in the human heart?”

***

After the talk, I stood in line for almost as long as the talk, to have a chance to finally meet Dr. Goodall. While in line, we all shared stories of growing up with Jane, what a powerful impression she had made on us, and what a singular experience it was to hear her speak. I signed up to become a member of both of her organizations.

While we waited in line, servers carrying trays of cookies and Halloween candy and apple cider kept us full of sugary treats. And then finally it was my turn to stand next to a childhood idol, have her sign my books and try not to be overwhelmed and cry.

She first signed a chimpanzee mask for Little Curly Girl, my niece. I told her the LCG was recently just two years old, so she signed it "with love" because in her words, "Being two years old means she should get lots of extra love." (Almost cried but didn't.)

Then she signed my books. I told her what an honor it was to be in her presence and then we had our photo taken together (which I'll post when I find it on her website). And then I walked to the train station in a bit of a wistful mood.

As I waited for the train, I looked at what Dr. Goodall had written in my book.

For Julie
Follow your heart.
Jane Goodall

And surrounded by crazily dressed adult trick-or-treaters, I did cry a little bit. Happy/sad crying.

***

"Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right." ~ Jane Goodall

Like Jane, I keep our fingers crossed for us primates. All of us primates. I think we can still pull it off and I think President Obama can help us get started.