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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Don't Divorce Us: Fidelity

I have watched this video three times today, and it's made me cry each time.

A month from today, the California Supreme Court will hear oral arguments, deciding within 90 days on the validity of Prop 8 and futures of the 18,000 marriages that took place last year before the election. One of my coworkers was proudly married before Prop 8 passed. And I still remember the joyful couples I watched get married on the steps of City Hall not so long ago.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

You can read more here at Calitics, where I found the video. Still waiting for this country to get its heart in the right place for everyone... maybe March 5 will be a new beginning in the most loving direction.


UPDATE 2/06, 7:33am: Good morning lovelies. I woke up to such great and heartfelt comments to this post this morning. Thank you for sharing.

On that note, please do read Cynthia's comment about the tragic story of her mother and her partner, and the documentary about their lives and deaths. The link in the comment is incorrect. You can learn more about the Pittman Puckett Documentary at their blog and the official website. The story is heartbreaking, and as Mari mentioned too, this is the 10-year anniversary of Matthew Shepard's murder.

AND, as Gabby so astutely mentioned, the list of donors who contributed to the Yes on 8 campaign now can be found at the California Secretary of State. Check it out here. And here is the list of those who donated in excess of $1000. You'll notice quite a few out-of-state large donors on that particular list. Lots of $$$ rolling in, and quite a bit from outside of California. Read the post on Calitics, and you may find the sizeable reimbursements to certain individuals very disturbing.

AND, go to Courage California's website, who made this touching video, and sign their letter to the state Supreme Court here.


Char February 5, 2009 at 10:15 PM  

I think it's ridiculous how legislation plays with real lives like they do - I could not even imagine how painful that would be.

Mari February 5, 2009 at 10:15 PM  

I am so with you. Love is a good thing! My cousin married her partner of 30+ years last summer, and they were so happy!
This was the only thing that marred election day. I hope this wrong is righted.

robinbird February 5, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

ohhhhh.. what a perfect way to shake things up with the sweet truth. i loved this video!

Carol February 6, 2009 at 1:35 AM  

I really hope that Prop 8 is overturned. What a horrible thing it is.

Bananna February 6, 2009 at 2:24 AM  

Beautiful video...sad, hopeful and full of love. And such a great song! By who I wonder?

It almost made me cry, but Im in the office and would probably not get so much support considering Im in a country where its sort of illegal to just be gay...so no one would understand...that my tears are for people who fight for love.

I hope all those happy couples get to stay married.

Adam February 6, 2009 at 3:03 AM  

This does, in fact, break my heart!

Liz February 6, 2009 at 3:30 AM  

Thank you for sharing this. I cried as well while watching it. I'm going to post it on my blog and spread it as virally as I can... it makes it real.

A Cuban In London February 6, 2009 at 5:01 AM  

I've heard of Prop 8 and I hope a settlement is reached soon. It's unbelievable that a few months after the US voted Barack in this issue still merits a second opinion.

Many thanks.

Greetings from London.

Arlene February 6, 2009 at 6:37 AM  

I cannot believe that a bill would be passed to allow people of the same sex to get married, and then when they do, to have it overturned. It just isn't right. And people wonder why I don't live in America anymore.

Gabby February 6, 2009 at 6:45 AM  

Recently a court ordered the release of the names of all the large contributors (corporate and personal) to both sides of Prop. 8. I wanted to send hate mail to all the supporters and, instead, Googled the names of people who sent money to have it defeated. The large individual numbers came from Hollywood producers, but I was able to locate the email for a literary agent in Boston who sent almost $150k of his own money. (of course, I had my own secret motives in writing him, but nonetheless, I emailed him and more than a dozen others at corporate email addresses). He is an Englishman, not even a U.S. citizen. Let that warm our hearts!

Cynthia February 6, 2009 at 6:59 AM  

Thank you for posting this today.

As a former 23 year resident of California who now lives in Puerto Rico, I was please when I heard that it was legal for gay couples to marry in California. I am disappointed that those gay couples who were once validated are now being threatened that their marriages are not legally recognized. I find this fickle attitude discouraging. I hope that the Californians reconsider this prejudiced decision, and allow the marriages to remain valid. Further, it is crucial that we all recognize the right for same-sex marriage. People must have the fundamental right to define who they are and how they want to express relational committment. Marriage is integrated into our society. By not allowing same-sex marriage, we are removing our loved ones from a central place in our lives.

My own dear mother, Susan Pittmann, along with her partner, Christine Puckett, were not able to be legally married. In 1993, they were both murdered by James E. Brooks in Wayne County, Michigan because of his rage at their lesbian 'married' lifestyle. (A documentary film by Brian Alexander is being made that focuses on the details of this case-http://pittmannpuckettdocumentary.com) The ban on gay marriage is actually a validation of the belief system that supports hate crimes.
As a society we have to be clear that we will not lend support to those small-minded people who seek to control other's freedom by violence. I remain in confident hope that California will recognize its higher path and provide moral guidance for the other states. The re-instituted ban on gay marriage must be overturned.

Mari February 6, 2009 at 7:28 AM  

I am so sorry, Cynthia, that is horrific.
This past fall was the 10th anniversary of Matthew Sheperd's murder. It is time to end this legalized discrimination.

tangobaby February 6, 2009 at 7:45 AM  

Good morning, everyone... please do check the original post as I've updated it with links to Cynthia's mother's story and the Yes on 8 donor list that Gabby mentioned.

My love to all of you... and Cynthia, an extra long hug for you. I am so sorry for your loss.


Sarah February 6, 2009 at 7:49 AM  

The government, whether they want to admit it or not, is discriminating. Last time I checked, happiness didn't come with a color or a sex. It's shameful. I really hope some day everyone can be free to love whomever they want to love. And also, I hope that hateful people like Sally Kern (disgusting gay-bashing legislator out of Oklahoma) get what they deserve.

Here's the link to check out contributors:


Thank you for posting this! :)


Starlene February 6, 2009 at 8:19 AM  

I know I shouldn't be but I'm still shocked that people in this world still dehumanize those that are "different". Here in the midwest, racism is unfortunately still rampant. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've bitten my tongue at work when my customers made comments during the election or on Martin Luther King Day. It really just sickens me that the majority of our lawmakers, the ones WE elect,(what is it 99.9% ?) indulge in this backwards, hateful thinking when running our country.

To me, it's plain as day that without the element of love for each other and recognition of everyone's right to freedom, any system is doomed to fail. The disgusting stupidity of discrimination makes me so angry but I realize that we can't fight stupidity, closed-minds, and fear with more anger and fear. All the more reason to show even more love to our fellow humans, no matter who they are. It is the only act able to break the negative cycle.

dancing doc design February 6, 2009 at 8:48 AM  

Thanks for sharing this post and video--you are so right in that it makes no logical sense nor any heartfelt sense to reverse the marriages nor prevent others to follow....I hope the surprising disappointment of last Nov 4th related to prop 8 can be reversed -

Cartooncharacter February 6, 2009 at 11:36 AM  

Thanks for posting this beautiful video, TB. I'll pass it on. Let's all continue to hope/pray/work towards love in all its special forms.

mrs. sarah ott February 6, 2009 at 2:17 PM  

i just cant imagine being someone like ken starr right now.

to have at one time taken such a significant step forward in accepting all people for who they are and who they choose to be; then, to take such a drastic step back only serves to undermine the american citizen in their struggle for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

who someone chooses to marry is a judgement call that is so personal, so unique, circumstantial that I just can't imagine wanting or having that authority over another person.

thank you for sharing your heart with the world tangobaby.

The Pink Cowboy February 6, 2009 at 3:22 PM  

Don't they see Love? Are they totally blind? How dare them invalidate our existences, our dreams and hopes. To prohibit Love is genocide. I am gay. I am a human being. I refuse to hide in order to Love freely. Stop the hatred. Peace to all.

R. Yaeko February 6, 2009 at 8:46 PM  


I just wanted to thank you for this post. It jolted me out of a very odd funk. And inspired this.

Thanks again!

R. Yaeko

It's Just Me February 7, 2009 at 2:52 PM  

Finally taking the time to watch this. Thank you for THAT look into the situation. We live in a quite liberal town, but it is still in the upper Midwest. This seems like someone else's fight - I know it is not. This video puts a face on the issue.

dutchbaby February 8, 2009 at 8:58 AM  

Thank you for posting this, I will do the same. The links to the Cal Sec of State and the over $1000 donors are now broken. Cowards!

Christina February 8, 2009 at 4:11 PM  

Thank you, thank you for bringing this to my attention. : ) I am trying to hold back the tears.