Noir Sunday with Red Shoes

Luckily for me, most of today had nothing to do with Football.

There's something so great about living in San Francisco, where you can dress up like whatever you want no matter what day it is and no one will give you a second look. If anything, they'll compliment you ("hey, nice skirt") or just take your photo.

***

Today, me 'n Mr. and Mrs. Red Shoes went to the last (and maybe best) movie of the film noir festival, Sweet Smell of Success.

They're such good sports and embrace a good reason to dress up, just like me.

They were also movie virgins (for this film), meaning that I got to enjoy them enjoying this awesome film for the first time. It was a great audience. Lots of people clapped when certain famous dialogue lines came up.

***

I got to wear some special treasures that belonged to my grandma.

An awesome Lilly Daché hat covered in tiny white flowers.

Her crazy cool sunglasses.

Her little white cotton gloves and her black leather purse.

And the best part was recreating the makeup of the era. I did Joan Fontaine's eyeliner from the movie I saw yesterday, Beyond a Reasonable Doubt, and Virginia Mayo lips. I even threw in a couple of beauty marks.

*sigh*

Tomorrow's gonna be kind of boring by comparison. I want to be a gun moll.

An Excerpt

LIPS

They call it "chemo skin." It's fragile, so soft, almost translucent looking. It has a beautiful but disturbing glow.

The woman perched on the chair before her, wearing an autumnal looking sweater, all cabled and tweedy in shades of oranges and golds, was wearing a matching turban on her head.

The makeup counter at the Stanford store is very close to Stanford Hospital. The woman told her that she was finishing her round of chemotherapy before going back to her hometown. She was staying in a nearby hotel, with her husband.

The thing you learn when being a makeup artist is how to find a commonality with whomever is sitting before you. Aside from the regular or irregular features, the wishes and desires are also what you learn to tune into. Most people will share the same themes with you (I don't know what I'm doing with my makeup, I need a change). But you always can suss out the deeper desires. Some people will break down and tell you after a few minutes, and some might simply break down, crying. It happens. That's why you always have a box of tissues handy. Not just for wiping brushes but for dabbing tears.

The woman in the chair with the heavy sweater and the turban, dressed for autumn in the heat of summer. Her hands were thin and chilled. The skin so fragile, so thin, that barrier between blood and the atmosphere.

She assembles her clean brushes, some q-tips, some cotton, on a clean tissue. The woman before her is tired and quiet, so she starts working without any direction.

The first thing she must do for this sweet, aging face is to give it some hair. The woman has no eyebrows, no eyelashes. They were victims of the cruel chemicals that are trying to kill the cancer cells but with their loss, her face is fading away.

She has learned to master the art of the eyebrow. Shaping its geometry is not easy and takes practice. There is an actual science to it, but this will be the first time she's created something from absolutely nothing. First, to locate the spot where the brow would naturally sit. Then, to skillfully sketch in tiny hairs to create those delicate arches. The trick is to make the sketch marks look like they have dimension. A waxy brow pencil is the first step, but then adding layers of different powders gives the illusion of depth.

Then the lashline. How to make it natural, yet defined, not too overwhelming so that it's apparent there are no lashes there? The thinnest flat brush, wetted and dark with waterproof cake liner in brown, not black. Applied to the inside of the lashline where the hairs would grow. Deft flicks of the brush bring the eye into shape. Then a smudge of shadow, above, blended. The effect is soft. It works.

All this time, the woman is quiet. She seems to be resting, napping. Enjoying. When the woman finally sees herself in the mirror, finished, she sighs. She cannot stop talking about how wonderful she feels with this face on. Both of them look at each other with glistening, teary eyes. The woman adores the lipstick, a glossy sheer warm red with a golden tinge. Simply is crazy for it, she's so thrilled. All her life, she says, she's been searching for the perfect color of lipstick (like so many women) and finally she's found it. An $18 tube of color and shine that's made her feel complete.

The two hug, rejoice for the simple happiness of finding the perfect lipstick. They part with kisses.

The next day, the woman comes back with her receipt and the lipstick in the bag and a stoic attitude. "My husband didn't like the color."

She is floored. All of the happy thoughts of yesterday evaporate instantly. "Then tell him not to wear it." She says it in a joking way but actually she's dead serious. What else can she say? Who gives a flying fuck about what the husband thinks? His wife is dying before his eyes.

Amazing. She's never forgotten that woman, to this day. Her greatest hope is that the woman recovered fully from her cancer, and has left that man in the dust. Perhaps she has a lover now, and eyebrows and eyelashes and a beautiful, perfect shade of lipstick.

***

The above is part of the writing project I mentioned. I'm relieved to know that as I'm getting older, the moments in my life that I thought were disappearing from my memory are still there. They might take a little more digging, but once I start, the scenes are lining up in my mind, one after the other, impatiently waiting to be dusted off and told to someone, to you.

That photo is one I took when I first got the camera, and it makes me happy to realize that I can also reach back into my own cache and find my images that help support what I'm writing now.

It's a good feeling to know that everything you need is right there for you. And thanks to all of you who are already infusing my project with the encouragement and support I need to keep going.

Okay, time to get ready for work.

xoxo

Junkie

"My case is a species of madness, only that it is a derangement of the Volition, and not of the intellectual faculties." ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

***

When I sold my kit several years ago, I thought I had closed a chapter in my life. Well, I did. I walked away cold turkey and was glad about it. I was so burned out. I tried to stay away from the stores, the magazines, anywhere I might be tempted to relapse.

Until today, when apparently I'm off the wagon again.

***

This morning on the train into work (at 8:07 am, to be precise), I got a brilliant idea for a writing project, a book. At least, it's a brilliant idea to me. I had the kind of feeling that you get when you have a dream that's so clear and true that it keeps you going all day, like a muse has been whispering in your ear all night and you wake up with all kinds of aha's! and connections in your mind.

I'm not going to say too much yet, because you know how some of these brilliant ideas can be. You pursue them passionately to an unforseen dead end and then when you run out of steam, you realize that your idea wasn't really all that brilliant and you got all excited about nothing special.

So I'll tell you about the details if it looks like there's something to share details about.

***

When you're a makeup artist, you're a technique snob and product junkie, a review hound and an ingredients smartypants. You watch other artists work and appropriate their style, when you see them do something new you haven't tried yourself. You can't really go to school to learn how to be a makeup artist. In theory you can, but in reality, to succeed you need hundreds of hours of practice, on real human faces of every make and model. You pore over printed materials and you can pick up a Glamour magazine or Allure and, without reading the photo credits, you know which makeup artist did the cover model. You don't even care who's on the cover. You go gaga for the technique: if it's good, you go gaga. If there's a perceived flaw or mistake, you rip it up and you and your friends talk about how you could have done it better.

When you're a makeup artist, your kit is your most prized possession and it encompasses your ongoing quest for the Holy Grail. My kit was a classic silver metal train case, five compartments high and lined with black velvet, which doubled as a side table and I used to perch a small lamp on it when I wasn't using it. I needed to wear a wrist brace when transporting it to jobs because it was so heavy. I remember a lovely Nigerian taxi driver helping me at JFK Airport, who asked me if I was carrying bars of gold in the case because it was so heavy. A totally understandable question. When I told him the case was full of lipstick, he started laughing. I don't think he believed me.

When you're working, you try to make connections with account managers so you can get free product and then you never have to buy as much.

But you always end up buying stuff. Every artist says the same thing: Oh, but it's for my kit. If you say it's for your kit, then spending hundreds of dollars on shiny new packaging that's smooth and perfect under your fingertips, and subtle, finely milled powders that feel like silk, and soft sable brush hairs of every shape, and perfect bullets of lipstick full of pigment and sensual emollients, spending that money doesn't hurt so much. Because you're a pro, and you need whatever it is... for your kit. It's for my kit justifies a lot.

The truth is that it's never for the kit. It's for you and you just pretend like it's all business.

***

Pictured above, today's naughty haul at Sephora. Several months ago, I had heard a chorus of angels singing (in my head) when I first realized that now I can get YSL cosmetics there, and now I don't have to deal with the snobby clerks at Bloomingdales. Today's pile of beauty started because I got a gift card from my sister and because people keep asking me why I retired from being a makeup artist and all of a sudden I have a basket of items in my hand and in my head, it's all flowing back in a rush of creativity and memories.

It's for my kit.

***

And then, just to prove that fate or fortune or whatever is truly shining on me and my brilliant idea today, my dearest dutchbaby (who knows exactly what I like) scored a bacon scented, bacon flavored lip balm from... you guessed it, the guys at Baconnaise!


Dutchbaby went to the wonderful Fancy Food Show here in town last week and met the proprietors of Baconnaise and now not only do I have the option of glossing my pout with YSL Rouge Pur no. 134, but I can also make my lips smell like bacon! (This is sounding a wee bit pornographic, I realize that now.)

Dogs and men are going to find me irresistable. And No, this one is not going in my kit.

Join My Future Administration and Win a Prize!

Hello fellow Americans! All of you, the real and the fake Americans! Even you Communists in North Virginia! Hello!

I've given it a solid 24 hour's thought, which might be more time than Sarah Palin spent deciding whether to enhance the McCain nomination with her presence, and now I really think that I should run for President in 2012.

At first, I thought I only wanted to do it for the free clothes. (Which is still a huge incentive, to be honest.) And then I realized that I could offer a lot to the American people and perhaps give them something to look forward to in 2012 if our country is still around and holding elections then. I know that I may sound shallow and silly at times (but in a good way, I hope) but I think that it's time to step up to the plate and I want to take all of you with me.



Besides, I found this Election Campaign Button designer and you can see I've gone a bit crazy with it. And as you know, accessories are very important to create an overall impression.



Most of you know that good makeup artistry will be a keystone of my party's platform. But first I have to decide what the name of my political party will be called, so you can immediately identify and affiliate yourself with me. That's crucial for me so that I can start receiving the donations that will go to my Tangobaby Campaign Wardrobe Fund. I want to be very transparent about that. The clothes are important.



One very important element of my campaign is YOU. I need to find a running mate and also key members of my cabinet and advisors. It's going to take a crack team of super smart, crazy talented people to turn this country around, and I think that all of the best people qualified to run this country read my blog.



So I am going to have a contest. A beauty-incentivized contest to bring out the patriots in you.

To show that I still believe in free elections that have nothing to do with Diebold machines, one lucky winner will be chosen in a drawing to receive an assortment of fun beauty treats that I haven't decided on yet. (But trust me, they'll be good.)



To enter my drawing, you must do THREE very important things in the comments of this post:

1. State what position you would play in my administration. It can be anything from Vice President (who's also in charge of Congress) to the Secretary of Footwear. (By the way, in case the random male that happens upon my blog would like to be a part of my administration, you are welcome to participate. I don't disqualify anyone on the basis of their gender because there are other important things I can use to base my judgement on. My caveat though is that if a guy wins the drawing, I might have to slightly alter the "beauty" concept of the giveaway.) Also, you are welcome to enter even if you don't live in this country. I just want smart people in my administration--I don't care where they live!

2. Write in at least three (but can be more) coherent and related sentences why you are best qualified for the position that you are seeking. This is a very important requirement for several reasons, the least of which being that I only want people who can construct complete sentences that show some semblance of a thought process. This way, if you end up being interviewed by Katie Couric, I won't be sitting here with knots in my stomach because you might say something really stupid and embarrass me and the campaign. Also, I want to preempt the vetting process so I don't have to look into your background and then later find out that when you were in the first grade, you used to belong to a militant separatist movement that wants to repatriate all zoo animals.

3. Choose one of the campaign buttons here to kick off my campaign. Or if you think these slogans suck, come up with something better. I want to keep using the Election Campaign Button generator because I think it's a hoot. Also, if you have some ideas for my platform, please do let me know. I want to keep up with the will(s) of the people. I do know that sushi will be an important area of my foreign policy.



My friends, I look forward to working with you to rebuild this great nation of tired, bummed out, poor people! I look forward to sending you some beauty products that will make you radiant!

I have decided to announce my running mate and my cabinet appointments on November 4, in order to tailgate on that other election that's being held on the same day.

Now, put on your thinking caps and get ready to win for a change!

xoxo

***
IMPORTANT CAMPAIGN UPDATE!!!

If you have designed a campaign button for Tangobaby/Your Name Here 2012, you won't be able to post it in the comment here. Please make a post on your blog with your campaign button and put the link in your comment so we can go and see your button.

Thank you, potential Secretary of State Julochka, for this sage advice!

You can see her button here.

***

SECOND IMPORTANT CAMPAIGN UPDATE!!!

I was seriously getting paranoid for a bit that Karl Rove was trying to keep me from running for office and that he broke Blogger so that none of you could leave comments for me.

But now Blogger appears to be fixed. I'm still thinking Rove had something to do with this but at least freedom to comment on blogs hasn't evaporated just yet. So do comment.

xoxo

Putting Fresher, Prettier Faces on the McCain Campaign

Dear Mr. Larson,

I would like to introduce myself as a consideration for a position of makeup artist with the McCain-Palin campaign. I hope this letter will impress you with my qualifications and my ability to transcend politics in order to help put a more attractive face on your campaign, which seems to have been erupting with certain "blemishes" lately (beauty pun intended!).

;-)

I hope you don't mind, but I got your name from the RNC's Schedule F that lists you as the recent purchaser/stylist for Sarah Palin, which seems to have been causing a bit of a flap lately due to the amount of money spent on her clothes, and now her makeup, too. (If you don't mind some friendly unsolicited advice, you should really consider Loehmann's next time for some deep discounts on designer women's clothing...just a little helpful tip there!) And you might want to take a tip from the competition, because it looks like the Obama's are getting a lot of their clothes off the rack (The Gap, White House/Black Market, H&M)... just an fyi.

Anyhow, I can't help noticing that the McCain-Palin ticket has been, quite frankly, overpaying for their makeup application services. Granted, Palin has been sporting some pretty heavy blush lately (which I see as a big no-no and is making her look very 80s) but extra product alone shouldn't raise the cost of services. Blush is fairly inexpensive. $13,200 is really a lot of money to pay for makeup application in a month's time.

I am writing to you because I think I could do a superior job for a fraction of the price. My cost-saving methods will help improve your standing with the "liberal" media and also help me earn some extra money this year, since the situation with the economy may prevent my employer from giving me a raise. I understand that some GOP donors want their money back after this little brouhaha with the clothes and perhaps if they know that you're more receptive to spending in a budget-conscious fashion, they won't be so upset with you.

Before I continue with any further advice, let me make you aware of my qualifications for this very important position in the campaign:

1. I have a Bachelor's of Science in Industrial Technology and a minor in English from a major California university. Granted, I did not go to five different schools before obtaining my degree or graduate at almost the bottom of my class, but bear with me. When studying for my degree in Industrial Technology, I was only one of two girls in my entire major. So I know what it is to have to prove yourself in front of a lot of guys. However, I didn't rely on my looks to get ahead. I did it by getting better grades than anyone else.

For the record, I do not know how to kill and dress a moose, but in school I did learn how to run a printing press, do some fabrication with sheet metal, and use a lathe. So this way, I figure Sarah might relate to me because I too can compete in a man's world, and also provide some reassurance to any Joe the Plumbers you might have hanging around who might need their noses powdered before those impromptu "questions" with Barack Obama. And because I'm fairly familiar with the duties of the Vice President, I'd be happy to do some light quizzing or maybe even flash cards to help Sarah prep just in case any more third graders are going to ask what she might do as VP.

But what does this have to do with being a makeup artist, you might ask? Please let me elaborate.

2. I also have an esthetician's license from a state accredited school, which I got after my college degree. This means that not only can I do Sarah's makeup (although you don't need a license to do makeup), but I can also wax her upper lip, to prevent another unfair representation, like when Newsweek did not Photoshop out Palin's facial hair and wrinkles. (I am also a great brow shaper.) So you would not have to hire a separate person for her lip wax.

3. As a makeup artist, I have learned from the best. Laura Mercier herself. Now I know what you're going to say--that she's elitist, she's French, she lives in New York and she's friends with Madonna. Yes, that is all true. But she is also one of the best makeup artists on the planet and my technique come from her enlightened tutelage. Also, I learned a lot from Matin Maulawizada, another extremely gifted and charming makeup artist, who is also now the celebrity makeup artist for Neutrogena. He taught me some amazing tricks, like how to mix bright orange lipstick with concealer to disguise discolorations under the eyes. This trick is amazing for people of color (African American, Southest Asian/Indian) who have dark circles under their eyes and can't find a good undereye concealer.

I realize that you don't seem to have any people of color associated with your campaign, but maybe you'll pick up a token ethnic person along the way in the next few days, who also happens to have bags under his/her eyes, and then I can really do some magic there.

4. I am not snobbish about brands, which is how I can also help you save money and make you a winner with the "real" American ladies who wear makeup, too. For example, even though I have the spendy Shu Uemura eyelash applicator, some of my favorite makeup brushes come from Costco. Seriously! They have some really fantastic brush sets. And since Sarah really is fond of blush, then I can suggest Jane Blushing Cheeks as a great product. They make wonderful colors that are highly pigmented to give her that stripey look she seems to favor but they are also very inexpensive. I may be a huge elitist fan of YSL Faul Cils mascara, but I also love the Wet 'n Wild eyeshadow palettes and the Rimmel Black Jet Kohl pencil.

So by being egalitatarian with my makeup kit, not only will I save your campaign money, but I will use products on Sarah that women who don't have very much money (ie., $13,200) can afford to buy, too. And then they'll be able to relate to her better.

5. Now if these qualifications haven't impressed you, let me share one more talent with you that might also come in handy. Not that I'm bragging, but some people have told me that I have a very sexy phone voice. I am just putting it out there...hear me out...but since you've also been responsible for that robocall campaign that even Sarah Palin has admitted wasn't such a great idea because it's really pissing off more people than turning them over to your way of thinking, maybe you need a change there too.

I thought maybe I could kind of "sex up" your calls and then maybe some of the men (at least) would listen to your robocalls without hanging up in disgust before you've delivered your potent messages. I realize that you are counting on some men to be attracted to Sarah and perhaps take advice from those other little friends they keep in their pants to help them decide who to vote for, but if you want someone with a hot voice to help get the message out, let me know.

(Sarah might have the bod for the job, but her voice is grating. I know this is might be coming from left field, so if you just want to consider me for the makeup artistry and get someone else for the robocalls, that is if enough Republican senators have not denounced the practice already, then I'll understand.)

Anyway, thanks for your patience in reading this letter. I realize that you're really in a crunch now and it might be too late to change the negative appearance of your campaign. But I wanted you to know that I'm a hard-working, patriotic American even though I don't live in a small town, so I thought I'd see if I could be of some help. Best of luck with your future political career! I'm sure Karl Rove is so proud of your accomplishments lately!

Very best regards!

Julie

ps. At first, I was going to say that you could also recommend me to Michelle Bachmann because she needs all the help she can get after making a total asswipe out of herself in front of the whole country... but since the GOP looks like it's pulling back from supporting her, her opponent has raised almost $500,000 in a single day since she opened her big Mc Carthy-esque mouth, and now there's an active campaign for her censure, it's probably not much use in trying to help her at this point.

Sometimes you can't put lipstick on a pig. And I mean that exactly how it sounds.

***

Tara, doll, this one's for you! Thank you for being my inspiration and my enabler. xoxo

Makeup Artists Should Unite to Help John McCain Help Himself and the Economy

I really don't know how I missed this story, truly. I'm starting to feel like The Onion is somehow getting its joke news stories leaked to the AP and then they're getting printed as somewhat actual news.

According to an article in US Weekly (not a place where I usually look to for news of note, but it works while in the nail salon):

"The 72-year-old was recently made TV-ready by makeup artist Tifanie White who's worked on So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol.

McCain paid the 2002 beauty-school grad $5,583.43 for her services, according to the Federal Election Commission."

***

Okay, I'm a beauty school grad, too (really, I am not making this up), and I would not have charged him five grand for a makeover. Hell, he's not even a bride! Although I wonder why he did not hire someone from Stan Winston Studios because doing makeup on someone who is almost dead requires a completely different type of artistry than bridal makeup.

(Actually, I just decided that I would have charged him five thousand dollars plus!!!, and then would have donated the money to something useful, like this or this or this--look, Obama's doing it.)

On second thought, maybe this gal is an Obama supporter and she's giving McCain the shaft since he has 8 homes--you must watch this awesome video of his houses!--, 13 cars and can obviously afford a $5K makeover. She must be really talented because I'm sure she had to do some special effects makeup on this guy to wipe that frozen creepy grimace off his face.

Unretouched skin under bright lights is unappealing and cameras do distort the features and add weight (look at what happened to Nixon in his debate with Kennedy...oh wait! We're reliving that now! Maybe McCain hasn't found makeup that will stand up to the intense facial sweating he might undergo if he actually has to proceed in a debate with Obama and try to put two sentences together in a row that aren't vengeful or blameful or basically false). Or maybe it's because McCain has a habit of canceling debates, like he did in another election year?

John Edward's haircut is looking like quite a bargain now, isn't it? (Funny thing though. I guess assorted GOP operatives labeling Edwards the "Breck girl"; Ann Coulter calling him a "faggot"; and Rush Limbaugh asking whether Edwards might be our "first female President"--those comments only apply when the Republicans are talking about the Democrats! Oh, I get it. It's okay to get your makeup done if you're a War Hero.)

Because I know that the Republican candidate isn't too savvy with computers by his own admission (or the economy either, but I can't help him with that one), I invite John McCain's future makeup artists to read a post I wrote that is great for people looking for cosmetics but happen to be on a budget. (Or Cindy, maybe you can print this out for your husband so he can read it on the No Talk Express bus.)

Perhaps he can save that $5K and spend it on something more useful, like universal healthcare. We're socializing Wall Street, so why not get some yearly checkups thrown into the bargain?

***

The only miracle makeup artists cannot perform is painting a brain on Sarah Palin.

I am relishing this transcript of her interview with Katie Couric. I was on the debate team in 8th grade and even I could have done a better job as a 12-year-old in the interview (here I go again, being an elitist).

Let's face it: if you're going to make sh*t up and speak it as the truth in front of the whole world, you'd damn well better practice your story to perfection so you've got it down pat when someone calls you on it.

COURIC: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have with-- Canada. It-- it's funny that a comment like that was-- kind of made to-- cari-- I don't know, you know? Reporters--

COURIC: Mock?

PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that's the word, yeah.

COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.

PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our-- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia--

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state.

UPDATE: HOLY SH*T! Please tell me you watched the Palin interview. Here's the link again if you have not. I can't say too much more without my head exploding. Please watch this so I am not alone in my utter disbelief that this is not a SNL skit.

The Once and Future Makeup Artist

The photo shoot I had over the weekend gave me a magnificent opportunity to practice my developing photographic skills with a gorgeous, willing and effervescent model, but also to dip back into my recent past as a professional makeup artist.

I had not realized until then how much I missed doing makeup on someone else.

Like any profession, once you're in it, you get used to things that at first struck you as incredibly exciting and wonderful.

And like any profession, you find that it calls for a wider range of skills than you initally imagined it would.

***

In many instances, a makeup artist is a confessor, confidant, advisor, therapist. When you gently cup someone's face in your hands to smooth on a primer or thoughtfully gaze at the face before you, thinking about what technique or color you will choose next, the effect on the person in your makeup chair can be extraordinary.

Not only do you develop an eye to paint and sculpt the features, but you develop an ear and a sensitivity: to the Other sitting right in front of you. Their insecurities, their hopes, their heartbreak, their desires. Being both a witness and creator of their transformation brings out their need to explain, to wish, to share. Not all the time, but it happens. Sometimes that was a nice part of the job, sometimes it was a burden.

There are two kinds of faces: the ones that barely need the touch of a brush or a whisper of lipstick and they are done, perfect. And there are the other faces, where you look for the beauty and plan your work as a surveyor would gaze out to the horizon, mapping the terrain. Those faces have the eyes that look to you with a mixture of admiration and trepidation. They already feel incomplete, and expect to be disappointed. But it is for those faces that you pull out all the stops, to make them realize they are so much more in reality than the jumble of brushes and products.

That it's not a fluke that they are worth noticing.

***

All those little memories came flooding back as I did the makeup for the shoot, as my brain started to remember the process and the details of technique. Not that she needed much to enhance her loveliness. It was just touching a face again, looking at beautiful eyes (always my favorite) that made me realize how much I missed my old world.

***

Another thing about the world of makeup artists is the sense of family and comaraderie. There can be fierce competition, to be sure, because makeup artistry can also be as much about the ego as it is about giving to someone else. The performance and cult of the artist is definitely part and parcel of this business.

But there is also the other side, the understanding and sisterhood (and brotherhood) that develops between artists who enjoy each other's work. Through blogging, I have made the acquaintance of a very talented and generous makeup artist whose love of makeup and all things vintage mirrors my own: Katie of Old Hollywood Glamour. I encourage you to check out her blog, and if you're in the New York area, perhaps you'll be lucky to have her create her magic on you.

The day before my photo shoot, I came home to a large envelope that had arrived the mail. In it was a stockpile of goodies: pristine, new-in-the-box bronzer, blush, lipgloss, lipsticks, eye shadow. (You don't know what the sight of brand new product does to a makeup artist. We get all fluttery and weak in the knees.) All perfect shades and products that could be used for the next day's photos, and enclosed with a sweet note and a heart, to boot.



How did she know? Ah, the wisdom of the makeup artist. To provide the unexpected, with a flourish.

Thank you, Miss Katie. You were the cherry on my Sunday sundae!

Me 'n Mia Wallace

About every four or five weeks, I look like Mrs. Mia Wallace for a few hours.

Well, not exactly. But I feel like her.

That's when Kat does my hair so it looks almost exactly like Uma Thurman's in Pulp Fiction (I can never get it as perfectly smooth and shiny as Kat does). And then I get my Mrs. Mia Wallace manicure from Sarah (officially Uma is wearing Chanel's Vamp, but I'll settle for Essie's Wicked at a fraction of the price).

I know where I can get a $5 milkshake around here, but I don't think I'll be winning any twist contests tonight. Where's my Vincent Vega when I need him?

(Yeah, I know this is a lame post. Basically this post is an excuse to watch a favorite video clip again, but my hair really does look this good. And so do my nails.)





Photo from the NY Times Dining & Wine section.

Cheap Thrills

The other day I had to do one of those marathon shopping sprees that took me to all of the Big Box stores. I made my Costco run and, since I was in the area, a once-a-year stop at Wal-Mart.

The real reason I had to go to Wal-Mart?

Mascara.

Like most other makeup artists and junkies, I am on a quest. A Quest for the Holy Grail of Mascara. Fickle, pouty, never-satisfied mascara questers like myself are constantly pouring over the makeup blogs (god help me) and reading reviews of the newest products. I have banned myself intermittently from reading makeupalley.com because it fills my head with a new crop of brands I've never heard of but now must try, and cosmetics that I feel I can't live without, even though I just learned about them five minutes ago.

I had been reading a review on Capital Hill Barbie about this Maybelline XXL mascara I haven't tried yet, and she waxed so poetic about it that I was convinced it might be The One, or at least a runner-up. Since most mascaras end up being a bit of a disappointment, I really don't want to pay full price for them, even if it's drugstore stuff. I might end up using it once or twice before it goes in the trash, so that's where Wal-Mart comes into play. I also tend to go on drugstore-brand binges from time to time, when my Chanel and NARS and YSL products go on hiatus while I dump a treasure trove of cheapie makeup all over my vanity table (some or most of which then usually goes in the trash at some point, too).

The problem with beauty items being discounted is that a person with a demented brain will buy more of them.

When they have no business doing so.

So my Wal-Mart haul ended up being pretty fruitful. Not only did I get the Maybelline mascara (which I haven't tried yet, silly me), but I got the Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara, which to my surprise, I actually like more than I thought I would. You do need at least four coats, though, to get the "Blast" they must be talking about. I also got the new Maybelline mineral liquid foundation which is apparently so new that I can't find a link to show you. Even though I have to mix two shades together to get my color, the foundation has a very nice finish and SPF 18. For sentimental reasons, I also got some Coty loose powder. This is a vintage beauty product if ever there was one. I forgot how light and silky the powder is, and the scent reminds me of my high school makeup days. It's actually a very nice finishing powder (get the Translucent), and they have a fragrance-free version if you don't want to go around having a face that smells as nice as it looks. ;-)

But the biggest score of all was at Costco. Ladies, get yourself this brush set! For $21.95, which won't even buy you a single brush at Sephora, this is a very, very nice brush set. It has all the basics, and a few nice extras, including a brush roll and some more "fancy" type brushes like a fan brush and a kabuki brush, both of which are great to have, and purchased individually would cost you more than the whole shebang.

If you can get over the fact that all of your brushes say "Kirkland" on them, I think this is one of the best beauty buys I've seen in a while.

***

So while I'm in Cheap Thrills mode, here are some drugstore products that I use regularly, which are really quite nice and won't break the bank:

NYC Ultra Moist Lipwear in Sheer Red, at a whopping $0.99 a tube. Great consistency, gorgeous berry color (can be used as a stain). I'm on my fourth tube of this one.

Rimmel Gentle Eye Makeup Remover: It's not oily so you won't get goo in your eyes. It doesn't sting, either! Not good for waterproof mascara, though.

Rimmel Soft Kohl Kajal Eye Pencil in Jet Black: I can't speak for the other colors (and those may not be the same quality) but this black pencil is sooty black, soft enough to smudge and full of pigment. This has to be the blackest pencil I've ever used. I'm hooked.

Max Factor Pan-Stick Ultra Creamy Makeup: This is some real old-timey stuff, but it's a worthy and overlooked foundation. Max Factor pretty much created the modern cosmetics industry, and anyone who likes makeup owes him a debt of gratitude. (A fabulous book, if you can find it--I got mine on Amazon-- is Max Factor's Hollywood: Glamour, Movies, Make-Up). But aside from that, this makeup can be blended out for sheer coverage, or layered for more coverage, and best of all, it's quick and easy. Use it with the Costco foundation brush!

Jane Blushing Cheeks: Jane is an Estee Lauder brand so you're getting department store quality at a fraction of the price. I probably have almost every shade of these blushes, even though I am a confirmed NARS blush junkie. But these are really nice for the money and I use them a lot.

Bye Bye Blemish: You can spend $20 on the Mario Badescu version at Nordstrom, or shell out $9.00 and get this stuff. I swear this pink liquid is the bomb if you break out. It's a sulfur-based product that you dab on at night with a q-tip and I promise your pimple will be gone in the morning. It is a little stinky but don't let that stop you. Even The Boy uses it and if he reads this he will make me erase this sentence, so I am going to live dangerously here.

Alpha Hydrox products: I haven't tried all of them but the ones I have (the souffle, lotion and the revitalizing peel) rival any expensive department store or dermatologist brand skin care. The pH of these AHA products is actually effective (so many others are buffered to the point that they are useless) so you can get some really good results with these if you use them regularly. (If all of this sounds a bit too technical, let me know and I'll explain it better.)

Clean & Clear Oil Absorbing Sheets: Don't even buy anything else. The only other thing that works better (and is free) are toilet seat paper cover/protector thingys. Right, Elizabeth?

Cococare Cocoa Butter Lip Balm: Awesome lip balm. Great for bedtime. And it's what, $1.25?!! If you want to smell like a giant piece of chocolate (Johanna?), get the Hand and Body lotion. It's really great for dry skin but if you start going on chocolate binges in the middle of the night, it's not my fault.

The way I look it is if you subsidize your vanity with a few of these Cheap Thrills, then you'll have more money for things that are really important...like shoes.

Computers and Armageddon

This has not been a good week for me and the computers, software and printers that I use for legitimate work purposes (i.e., not blogging). I could never be an IT person. I would have killed myself by now.

Of course these technological conflicts always happen at the worst possible time, usually centered around deadlines of some sort.

Which reminds me that it's time to watch one of my favorite Eddie Izzard clips again:



If you are an Eddie Izzard virgin, then I am very happy to have introduced you to him. If you like smart men who wear makeup, your life is now complete.

Eddie is the sexiest man in makeup on the planet. I cannot believe I have not blogged about him already. That's like me not writing about movies or chocolate.

Staying Put

Well, now that I'm all fired up about makeup since my last post, think about how many times have you been invited to dance with a leader only to see his shoulder covered with foundation, lipstick or mascara? Yuck. Makes the embrace a little less inviting, doesn't it? And it's certainly not his fault, that's for sure. Poor guy.

Inevitably, smeared faces can be the result of a close embrace dance. I've thought of some products and ideas that will reduce the chances that your dance partner will need to throw his shirt in the trash when he gets home.

In general, here are the basic rules to prevent smudging and smearing on you and your partner:

• Less is more.
• Avoid cream and gel-based products, including eyeshadows and blushes. The odds of them creasing and smearing on warm, sweaty skin is pretty much 100%. I'd skip the gooey lipglosses, too, just because those are bound to end up somewhere other than your mouth.
• The term "waterproof" is extremely subjective. It is a great marketing tool, however. I have yet to find a truly waterproof product (my litmus test is the crying bride). Don't see waterproof written on something and think you're home free.
• Keep some q-tips in your little makeup kit in case you need to clean up a bit in the corners of your eyes.
• I'll say it again: Less is more.

1. If you're going to wear eyeshadow and you have a problem with it all running into the crease, use an primer for your eyelids. The best one I've ever used by far is the Laura Mercier Eye Basics. I like them because: a little goes a long way, they dry extremely matte but make a great base for holding shadow, and they are opaque so if you have dark or discolored eyelids, it will act as a concealer so you can use lighter eyeshadows that don't usually show up on you.
2. Set any creme you wear (foundation, blush) with a light layer of translucent setting powder. Cremes, by nature, will break down on warm skin, so setting them with powder will make them last longer. And when I say translucent, I mean just that. If you need to blot your nose, using a powder with pigment in it will keep adding more color to your face as the night goes on. You just want to keep down the shine, not change the color of your skin.
3. Use a foundation primer. You'll probably use less foundation with a primer, it will go on smoother, and hopefully will last longer. Personally, I like the Sue Devitt and NARS primers.
4. Try not to use too much makeup on the sides of your face and your neck. Usually the area needing coverage is the T-zone. If you can get away with it, maybe all you need is concealer and powder. The Laura Mercier Secret Camoflauge is the bomb. But you might need to have the sales associate help you find your color and show you how to use it the right way. GET THE BRUSH. Once you get the hang of this product, you'll love it.
5. I happen to LOVE the Vincent Longo Lip/Cheek stains. I don't use them as blush but as a pretty permanent lip color that you can top with a little chapstick or a teeny bit of gloss, they are awesome. I wear them all the time and the color really lasts. They tend to be bright but you can apply them sheerly for a bitten-lip look. Or, a cheap, classic and natural look for many is the famous $0.99 Wet 'n' Wild lip pencil in 666 (you little devil, you) with lip balm on top.
6. I am a diehard fan of the Laura Mercier cake liner. Of all the eyeliners I've used, this one is the least likely to smudge. But you do need the brush and you do need to practice using it. I would not recommend a kohl pencil or any liner that has a creamy consistency. It just won't hold up.
7. Get more mileage out of your lashes and use less product by curling your lashes before you pile on the mascara. I still think the Shu Uemura eyelash curler is the best on the market. Please don't skimp on this and get the cheapie drugstore brand. This is one instance where spending a little more makes a difference. Your lashes will thank you.
8. And you know how I feel about the Shu Uemura fake lashes. I already went nuts about them here. And here.

This is just a short list of products I like, and you might have found some that you think work well for a night of dancing, so please share your knowledge with us. This isn't even close to a list of all the stuff I covet/hoard/lust for every day wear, evenings out, skin care, etc, but that all will have to wait for later.

Let me know if you have any questions! Let me know if you like makeup-ey posts. I would probably write them anyway, but it's nice to know if they're helpful to you. ;-)

Unmasking Beauty

Last week, I had another lesson after work. But this time, I was the teacher. I gave the lesson. A private makeup lesson in the not-so-private, but exquisitely decorated, cosmetics department of Neiman Marcus, one of my former haunts.

I haven't done a makeup lesson in a while, and it was such a fulfilling hour to be doing something I really love where I am not the student (i.e., tango). Sharing your expertise with someone, when you really know what you're talking about and your student is eager to learn, is a fantastic feeling.

I'm sure I must have mentioned this before, but I used to work as a professional makeup artist. I was lucky enough to learn from the best in the biz, the lady on the right, Laura Mercier. And also from some of her extremely talented disciples, who have gone on to have successful careers in their own right. I have a lot of fantastic tricks up my sleeve thanks to my teachers. Over the years, I've touched a lot of faces. It may sound silly, but I know I've also changed a lot of lives, in big and small ways, by being a makeup artist and showing women how to use cosmetics in a subtle, artistic way (and how to pull out all the stops if that's what they want). I've worked with brides, frumpy housewives, newly divorced women, rich ladies recovering from plastic surgery, cancer patients going through chemo, little old ladies, teenage girls, men, models, and actresses.

The other day, I was trying to explain to a male friend of mine about cosmetics, and why women get so excited about them. I was hoping that everything I said did not sound trite or something out of a 1950s treatise on How to Be a Lady. But I was having a hard time explaining why some (most?) women get a little ga-ga for makeup, myself included, when we're supposed to be educated and focused on so many other things than our appearance. I mean, how shallow can you get? I can have a serious discussion with you about string theory or scurvy, but the minute you ask me what my favorite lipgloss is, my eyes will light up in a feverish way.

We live in a time where our culture has done a lot to blur the distinction between male and female, I think in an attempt to let us all advance ourselves without gender being a discriminating factor, as much as humanly possible. Because of that, women today have many advantages now that our mothers and grandmothers did not have in their lifetimes, allowing us to have many more options regarding our careers, family life and other areas too numerous to mention. The flip side, I think, is that we have lost some (or a lot) of our femaleness as a result. Which is denying a large part of what makes us who we are, imho. And that always brings me back to the tango thing, but for right now this is still a makeup story.

I think women have an innate need to see beauty, whether it is something outside them, or something beautiful about themselves. It may just be a function of cultural conditioning, but if it is, then it still must have some basis in our genes or has been imprinted in us for centuries. Cosmetics fulfill a need that is hard to describe but humans have been using them for thousands of years.

Laura taught me to regard the face as a perfect canvas. To see and enhance the fine and beautiful qualities of the face that are there already. It's not about focusing on what's wrong with you, what you don't like about yourself, but about playing up the parts of you that you do like. I've learned to look at faces with an objective eye, in pieces instead of a whole, if I want to. I can quickly discern lovely features that are waiting to be unearthed, like I'm an archaeologist who's just found a shard of pottery that when cleaned and polished, will turn into a museum's treasure. I'll tell a woman: you have a beautiful brow shape, I love your cheekbones, look at how pretty your upper lip is, and she'll look at me with wonder and maybe a little puppy love in her eyes and say, Really? I never saw that before.

You show people themselves in a mirror after you've done their makeup, and sometimes they cry because you've just helped them look the way they always wanted to, so their inside dreams match the outside face that the world sees. It's like showing someone a face they never knew they had but one they always wanted. And it's real.

Friday Morning Diva

This is both a product testimonial and a cautionary tale.

Without a doubt, the Shu Uemura fake eyelash adhesive is a fantastic product. This rubbery glue is almost a little too fantastic. It's not watery like the drugstore brand adhesives and dries quickly. When used with care, it allows you to reposition your lashes until the glue is completely set.

When used a bit overzealously, it will keep your diva eyelashes on all night and even into the next morning, with the lashes looking quite flawless even though the rest of you may be a bit bedraggled.

However, if the sultry, smoky eyed look is not what you had in mind for the office the next day, try to use a little less glue.

A nice thing about my office mates is that they politely ask, "Dancing last night?" when I come into work on Friday with mile-long eyelashes that I apparently grew overnight. When the truth of the matter is that I had a wonderful time Thursday night at La Pista and didn't bother with the makeup remover before falling into bed.

I'm not a makeup blog, but...

as a former makeup artist (is there such a thing?) and confessed makeup junkie, people are always asking me what I like and what I use. So since I'm here already, I think I will just mention a product or two once in a while if I think it's worth buying.

(This sort of post might make me lose the last of my male readership besides my dad, if the shoe thing didn't already, but these are topics I spend time thinking about, so there you are.)

I was in Neiman's the other day (they have the best cosmetics department in Union Square, IMHO) and finally spent some time in the Shu Uemura boutique. I was curious to see why a $25 pair of fake eyelashes is better than a $3 drugstore pair, and I have to say that in this instance, I'll now pay more for a better product.

If you are an eyelash enthusiast like me, you'll feel like a kid in a candy store at the Shu counter. There are so many styles to choose from, and you'll convince yourself that you need most of them. I bought three different pairs, the adhesive, and the super cool applicator that is curved to the lash line for an easy application.

The biggest difference I can see between these lashes and the cheapies is the way they're sewn onto the strip. The band holding the lashes is much more substantial, giving more support to the lashes and therefore an easier application. I think the band also makes the lashes hold up better, meaning that you can get more uses out of them, which brings the cost down if you look at them on a per-use basis.

You should brush them out with a dry mascara wand after each wear and gently remove the glue. Don't get them wet.

Happy winking!