January 25, 2009
Department of Employment, Tourism, Mental Health and Grants for the Arts
San Francisco, California
Please excuse the formality of this letter as I had hoped to speak with someone in your office. However, I could not find your office so this letter must be my voice and representative.
As you may or may not know, I am a resident of San Francisco and have been on a "Staycation" (aka, vacation at home due to insufficient funds for travel abroad). At first, I was ambivalent as to the quality of the vacation I would enjoy here, even though as a resident I feel that San Francisco is one of the best places to live. I had my sights set on more exotic locations.
However, I must admit that this has been one of the best holidays I have ever had, which is why I am contacting you today.
Due to my increased productivity and overall enjoyment of life in general, I would like to request a grant of sufficient monies (including health care) so that I might continue my Staycation and not have to go back to work tomorrow. The benefits to me as a happy citizen (and registered voter, I might add) would not even begin to compare to the benefits that San Francisco as a city would reap due to my redoubled efforts to promote our city by taking thousands of photos and writing about my adventures on my blog. The amount of time such PR takes is tremendous and even now I have only been able to describe a fraction of the fun I've had, not to mention the delicious meals I've enjoyed around town and the new friends I've made.
I think I could greatly improve San Francisco's image and overcome some disturbing stereotypes that may be disrupting tourism.
Also, I am incredibly bummed at the thought of going back to the office tomorrow (it's almost too much to bear) and this grant would allow me to continue in the lifestyle I have become accustomed in the past two weeks.
Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon (today would be great but I'm guessing your office is closed on Sundays).
Very most sincerely and incredibly appreciatively yours,
ps.: I have enclosed a photo from the last Staycation I had so you will know that my request is quite serious. Until now, I had not had a Staycation since that photo was taken.
pss.: I am the one in the plaid pants.
psss.: PLEASE help me and give me a grant so I can stay on Staycation.
the exhausted me i've come to know
5 hours ago