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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Strange and Unnatural Foods

As I write this, Nuit has a funny little thread going on about foods she eats that are not really part of the USDA's food pyramid. (Remember studying the food pyramid in Home Ec class and realizing that you were nowhere close to eating the recommended five servings of fruits and vegetables per day?)

And then some of the usual suspects chimed in. (In all fairness, the post originally did have a slight connection with tango.)

Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it because the post is funny and I'm obviously not working on the things I'm supposed to be working on right now. I've pretty much been thinking about Funyuns (to eat) and hedgehogs (not to eat).

Speaking of strange and unnatural foods (and if you are a vegan, please don't take this personally), but yesterday at work we had/endured a Vegan Chocolate Cake for someone's birthday. There was only me and another guy who did not fall for this trick. We both surreptitiously pawned off our slices on other people after the first taste.

It looked like a chocolate cake, it smelled like a chocolate cake, but it tasted like...okay, I'll be nice here and not say what I was going to say...faux cake. That weird tofu or other secret ingredient they put in the cake reminded me of the scene in Rosemary's Baby when Mia Farrow eats the chocolate mousse ("chocolate mouse") with the drugs in it before her date with Satan.

When it's my birthday (just so you know), I want a real chocolate cake made with real butter, real eggs, real sugar and NO tofu.

13 comments:

studio wellspring October 11, 2007 at 2:48 PM  

i concur tangobaby. i'll be sure your cake is 100% real. btw, pringles are my funyuns.

tangobaby October 11, 2007 at 4:44 PM  

Thank you, Ms. Wellspring. I can taste that real cake already.

Yes, Pringles. Especially the little bits that break off and pile up in the bottom of the can and then you can eat them out of your hand like birdseed. Is it true that most ballerinas subsist on pringles and lettuce?

La Nuit Blanche October 11, 2007 at 6:02 PM  

a cake made of tofu?? that is blasphemous.

TJ was telling me about these Chinese eggs that are not made of eggs, but something else, made to "taste" like eggs, except they don't. my head is whirling.

what's the point of making an egg that isn't an egg? what's the point of making cake, if it's made of tofu?? urgh...

Red shoes October 12, 2007 at 8:08 AM  

You know...I love tofu. I will eat it all by itself; I happily put it into recipes of all kinds. But CAKE?

No.

Tina October 12, 2007 at 10:17 AM  

Tofu cake. Ew. Yuck. I always wonder how people convince themselve to like such things.

I don't have a favorite fake food. I guess for snacks that come in a bag, I like Erin's popcorn or sometimes Fritos - but those are both made from natural ingredients (notice a corn theme?) so they don't count...do they?

tangobaby October 12, 2007 at 11:17 AM  

Eggs that aren't eggs, cake made out of tofu...pretty soon someone's going to start making Soylent Green for real and someone else is going to eat it! And tell us it tastes good.

I'm with you, Tina. Let's go get some Fritos! Or Corn Nuts would work for me, too. Gotta love the corn(y) snacks. Mmmm.

NYC Tango Junkie October 12, 2007 at 12:12 PM  

Actually tofu could be made into delicious dessert. Tangobaby, if you go to a chinese restaurant in SF chinatown during DimSum hour, ask for TOFU Flower (TOFU Hua). It tastes a little like Flan. There are many different flavors: almond, mango, strawberry ... and maybe chocolate.

But chocolate bean curb? That tops on my short not-to-touch food list.

tangobaby October 12, 2007 at 12:30 PM  

Hi TJ,

It wasn't exactly a tofu cake, but it did have tofu in it. It looked like a regular chocolate cake. But you could tell there was something wrong with it.

I happen to live within walking distance one of the best dim sum restaurants in SF (most of them aren't in Chinatown anymore) and my favorite, favorite dessert is this fried ball thing coated with sesame seeds, and inside it is this hot black goo that's sesame flavored and very very sweet. They serve this dessert hot and it is delicious!

I bet you know what I'm talking about.

NYC Tango Junkie October 12, 2007 at 1:05 PM  

correct link,

Tangobaby, I know exactly what you talked about. One of my dad's favorite. We call it conveniently "sesame ball"(how creative!). Taste great: crispy outside and a bit chewy,soft and sweet inside. Again, not a health choice though, deep fried in oil.

tangobaby October 12, 2007 at 4:52 PM  

TJ, that "flan" looks delicious! If I come out to NY to see Nuit, will you take us to get some? Mmmm.

NYC Tango Junkie October 12, 2007 at 9:04 PM  

Anytime, tangobaby, anytime.

La Nuit Blanche October 12, 2007 at 11:21 PM  

TJ, yes, yes, take us! that flan looks amazing.... it looks like chinese custard. i can eat loads and loads of custard all day. especially when it has burned sugar on top, à la francaise.

tangobaby October 13, 2007 at 9:07 AM  

Thank you, TJ! Hopefully we'll all be feasting on dim sum and Chinese "flan" sooner than later.