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Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Sacrificial Peep

Last year, I wrote what I consider the best Easter post I could have possibly ever written, especially considering that I have virtually no experience celebrating Easter and only have vague, sad memories of undergoing severe candy deprivation as a child.

That Easter candy void in my life caused me to have an obsession with Peeps. Peeps... you know-- the marshmallow chicks.

Anyway, last year's post was so perfect and I can't imagine improving on it this year, so I'm reposting it today because I'm sure most of you never saw it the first go-around. And it might give you some ideas for today's festivities if you get your hands on some Peeps. Enjoy!

***

March 23, 2008

Professor Red Shoes recommended that I conduct a scientific experiment with a Peep, based on my previous post:
Tangobaby, you simply must microwave your next Peep. I'm not joking. Pop it in the microwave and set the thing for oh, thirty seconds or a minute. But here's the kicker: you must stay there and watch while it microwaves. Watch carefully.
So I waited until this morning, because I felt this day would be most appropriate, and perhaps auspicious, for such an undertaking.

Here are the results and observations from my laboratory notebook.

***

Sunday, March 23, 8:20am: Peep is prepared on sanitary plate for insertion into microwave oven. Peep shows no sign of distress. See Figure 1.

Figure 1

Sunday, March 23, 8:21am: Microwave oven is set for 30 seconds, per Professor Red Shoes' instructions. Peep is placed directly in center of oven on rotating dish.

Sunday, March 23, 8:22am: 30 seconds has elapsed. Peep has undergone a transformation due to non-ionizing microwave radiation passing through the Peep, at a frequency of 2.45 GHz (wavelength of 12.24 cm). Please note brown speck of eye can still be seen, as well as a vestigial beak just to the left of remaining eye. See Figure 2.

Figure 2

During radation exposure, Peep inflated to Godzilla-like proportions, leading to further speculation that a kaijū may not be as fictional as we have been led to believe. See Figure 3.

Figure 3

Not to worry, though. My Godzilla Peep deflated within 2 seconds after re-entering normal atmospheric conditions. The Peep has transformed into more malleable creature. See Figure 4.

Figure 4

Conclusion: I am now aware that it is more fun to play with your Peeps than to eat them.

***

ps.: Only because it seems very fitting, if you have not read the book Candyfreak by Steve Almond, you should. It's really hilarious. Unless you don't like candy. And then I might be a teeny bit worried about you.

22 comments:

Debbi March 23, 2008 at 10:03 AM  

HILARIOUS!!!! thanks to you and Ms Red Shoes for creating such an amusing experiment!!!
And can I just mention I had no idea Godzilla had such thunder thighs?!?!? Must have escaped my attention as a child... lizard needs a thigh master....

Red shoes March 23, 2008 at 11:19 AM  

Oh, my, you've just made my day. It's more spectacular than I remembered!

PhantomMinuet March 24, 2008 at 6:23 AM  

Candy freak is a great book. And I thought, considering the nature of your post, that you might enjoy this pic:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y144/PhantomMinuet/funny-pictures-peep-show-easter-can.jpg

studio wellspring March 24, 2008 at 10:29 AM  

hee hee ~ you crack me up! did you wear your lab coat & goggles during the experiment like a good lil' scientist? :o)

tangobaby March 24, 2008 at 11:24 AM  

Hi Debbi,

I'm glad I wasn't the only one laughing...I thought that was pretty funny, too. Did you see my Eddie Izzard Easter link in the previous post?

I agree with you about the Godzilla thighs. He must have gotten them from crushing all of those people and cars and buildings.

Hi Red Shoes,

You made my day so I could make yours. Actually the Peep was so much bigger than that but it's hard to get a photo before he deflates. That actually was not the first Peep!

Hi PhantomMinuet,

Okay, that link was TOTALLY hilarious! That may be the best use of Peeps I've seen so far! Omg.

I love your blue Easter bonnet! What a super hat.

Hi Ms. Wellspring,

I have more Peeps at home if you want to come over and try it yourself? I have to admit that I was wearing my pajamas when I did it, and not wearing any safety glasses. It did feel kind of dangerous, but exciting too.

***

To all of you, I want you to know that my mom said it was mean that I did that to the Peep.

katie March 24, 2008 at 7:35 PM  

This is the funniest thing I have ever read/seen!!!!

miss tango March 25, 2008 at 3:21 AM  

You are a very very cruel woman! Does PETA know about this?

tangobaby March 25, 2008 at 1:29 PM  

Hi Katie,

I do have to admit that I laughed very loud when I took that photo of the Mucus Peep.

Hi Miss Tango,

I know, that was a mean thing to do. I already got in trouble with my mom, so you are not alone. I promise not to do it again.

The PETA people would probably beat me up if they knew.

paris parfait March 25, 2008 at 2:55 PM  

Ha ha! This is hilarious. If only I had a microwave! :)

La Tanguera March 27, 2008 at 10:00 PM  

Oh... I loved this post, so cute! Poor peep... :(

koolricky April 1, 2008 at 2:39 PM  

Ha ha ha... Only you TB to come up with a post like this!

tangobaby April 1, 2008 at 4:42 PM  

Hi La Tanguera,

I know, that was bad. I didn't know it would get so gooey.

Hi Koolricky,

Sometimes I get bored, what can I say? But Red Shoes gave me the idea in the first place. I'll save some Peeps for you when you come to SF.

Kath April 12, 2009 at 7:55 AM  

This is an easter tradition at our house - it started five years ago when a friend visited us and there was too much easter scotch consumed!
xo
Kath

flawsnall April 12, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

oh my! :O

Christina April 12, 2009 at 6:49 PM  

That looks like it would be good as a smore's filling! I am all over the candy today. I mean I'm not stealing the kids candy out of the baskets or anything... ; )

Cartooncharacter April 12, 2009 at 8:02 PM  

I remember reading this post last year and can't believe how quickly a year flew by...

Mujer imperfecta April 13, 2009 at 5:29 AM  

So funny. Here in Spain we call marshmallow "jamon".

Anna April 13, 2009 at 6:02 AM  

That's a great post! We don't have peeps in the UK, as far as I'm aware, so your research is benefiting us all.

Your blog was recommended to me by ℒacey.

Gillian April 13, 2009 at 2:45 PM  

soursdujour posted about Peep Jousting, both peeps have a toothpick sticking out of them and then they duel while being nuked.
HOw much fun is that?
Great post, or great re-post rather. xo

margieandkath April 14, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

you and kath!! she was busy microwaving peeps as well! margie

Relyn April 14, 2009 at 8:42 AM  

I remembered this and was actually thinking about it when I went shopping for Easter basket candy. So funny.

Joli April 16, 2009 at 11:46 AM  

That was really cruel to do to an unsuspecting peep. Yesterday easter finally arrived on my doorstep, and the unearthly colour i found in the little one's diaper this morning due to a fake peep! scary!