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Sunday, December 14, 2008

Dude, next time try a stilletto.

I've got several pairs you can use. These silver ones look pretty fierce.

Although you're probably in jail now. And I don't want to send a pristine and beautiful pair of tango shoes to Iraq. They were expensive. The shoes, I mean. (Iraq was--and continues to be-- expensive, too. In too many ways to discuss on my dumb little blog.)


Not that this has anything to do with anything, but it kind of reminds me of when we used to go to the zoo as kids, and sometimes the chimps would throw poo at the crowd watching them. Honestly, I don't know what else chimps throw, but they can throw poo quite far. (Obviously an animal in captivity throwing feces is a sign that it's under duress and it's not funny, but when you're under the age of 10--mentally or physically-- you don't think about things like that.)

People would scream and laugh and run away and then come back again, but stand a just a tad farther away-- this time where they decided was outside of the perceived Poo Danger Zone.

One time a chimp-flung piece of poo flew about two (hey, that rhymes) inches over the head of a man we were standing next to. All he did was whistle and say, "Man, they should get that chimp to pitch for the Giants."

Herein ends my juvenile humor for today.


By now, you guys know how I am.


Elaine Dale December 14, 2008 at 5:56 PM  

Your stilletto line left me helpless with the giggles. Found your site (and your photo site as a result) via Blogs of Note. Great stuff, will be bak.

Ontario, Canada

Liz December 14, 2008 at 6:19 PM  

Just seeing the first few sentences in my Blogger dashboard... I knew what you were talking about. And I LOVE IT!

I also went back and read the "favorite" posts that you shared. And I'm still here! I plan to do a tribute to your list of favorite sensations sometime soon. I really liked that!

Liz December 14, 2008 at 6:22 PM  

And is it wrong that I want someone to add a voiceover of "Don't taze me, bro!"

And is it weird that I'm not sure I know how to spell "taze?" Even went and googled it to make sure I had it right.

tangobaby December 14, 2008 at 6:35 PM  

Hi Elaine,

Come on back anytime...I happen to love people from Canada. Really, I do. You guys are like some of the nicest, most laid back people on the planet.

But then I saw what must be your baby picture and I have to say that you might be one of the cutest people ever besides being a nice Canadian. And you're a photographer? I am so coming over to see you! Thanks for the visit!


Hi Liz!

I am suffering from a truly enjoyable bout of schadenfreude right now but I think it's making my headache go away, so I'm looking at this shoe-throwing incident as a curative because the Excedrin isn't working.

Please realize that those other posts I recommended where written by that *other* tangobaby, the one who thinks about stuff occasionally and isn't honing her Dorothy Parker instincts.

When you make your tribute list, please do remember to give me a link so I can read it, too!

And about spelling things like "taze" and "schadenfreude," well, that's what the internet's for right? Looking stuff up.


Bill Stankus December 14, 2008 at 6:58 PM  

Flying shoes ... when I saw the story I laughed and laughed. Think of it, Bushie went to Iraq to do another "Mission Accomplished" kind of thing. Instead of a photo op that he so badly wanted, it turned into a Marx Brothers routine.

I hope the reporter didn't get arrested - what he did showed courage - something U.S. news doesn't have.

Save the Tango shoes for the dance - because to dance is to live and to love life.

Silliyak December 14, 2008 at 7:08 PM  

Re the shoe toss, I flashed on two things. (look ma, I'm multiflashing)
Austin Powers "Really now, who tosses a shoe?" and even though I'm not exactly a fan of Bush, it would have been so cool if he could have not flinched, and caught it ala Jeena Davis in League of Their Own.
I AM becoming a fan of your blog. If not for your knowledge and appreciation of chemistry, which is totally over my head, I would be in love. And just so you don't worry about possible stalkertude, I'm much older, fat, and happily married for over 31 years.

Julia V Miller December 14, 2008 at 7:57 PM  

You suddenly made me remember being at Tikal in Guatemala and witnessing a "poo toss" by monkeys up in the trees who just didn't appreciate tourists in their yard. Thanks for ALL the laughs!

Mtnhighmama December 14, 2008 at 8:44 PM  

Oh, TB, those shoes are lovely. Are they yours? I have often thought I needed a pair with that kind of sparkle, and I am just never brave enough to go for it. And I worry about the glitter rubbing off. Does that happen?

When I lived in Las Vegas, I was sitting in a bar after my shift and a couple of drugged out prostitutes came in. They then proceeded to get in an argument which culminated in one woman planting her stiletto in the forehead of the other. It was quite a scene. At least as good as poo throwing chimps.

Anonymous December 14, 2008 at 9:54 PM  

hello, i think that picture on your header is too provocative, or i'm just over thinking.

oh and it's not just monkeys who throw their poop at people, u should see certain derelict in industrialized areas....

by the way, i also think tango and somethng called regaeton are dances that have been created by overly sexual people =P

have a nice day

Shannon Lee December 14, 2008 at 11:31 PM  

hi tangobaby! you have a great voice that is wonderful and refreshing to listen to. keep writing! shannon

Dru December 15, 2008 at 12:26 AM  

"Breaking News Pres. Bush on thrown shoes: All I can report is it is a size 10" That is funny stuff right there.

As is your blog :) I've been reading it for a few days now. Was thoroughly irritated when I came home tonight, then sat and read this and was busting out laughing. Thanks for changing my mood around, I appreciate it and I wanted to let you know.

julochka December 15, 2008 at 1:06 AM  

it would have been good if that reporter guy had thrown some poo at bush...that's something i'd actually pay to see. :-)

A Cuban In London December 15, 2008 at 6:29 AM  

No, they should get that chimp to pitch for the bloody Yankees. We haven't won anything since 2000!

Anyway, back to your post, in Cuba we have wooden slippers. If my Iraqi brethren fancy a pair... :-)

Greetings from London.

smith kaich jones December 15, 2008 at 8:23 AM  

Oh Lordy, I am starting my week off by saying something opposite of everyone else. Which is pretty normal for me actually, but really I'm not used to it, but I just can't keep my mouth shut.

While I agree with Silliyak that it would have been way cool if Bush had just caught the shoe(s), I have to say that I think we would be appalled if an American reporter had done something similar to the leader of another country. I think we would be calling for that reporter's ousting. I think we probably wouldn't have to call for his/her ousting - I think it would've occurred before we even knew about the story. And yes, I understand the reporter was angry, but if we're going to okay this kind of behaviour, we need to make sure we're consistent in that okay, and if, say, a photographer decides to toss his/her camera (perhaps he/she will have purchased a cheap one for the express purpose of doing so) at, say, Ahmadinejad, or Sarkozy, or even Obama, we need to remember that we okay'd such behaviour.

:) Debi

Laineypie. December 15, 2008 at 8:46 AM  

I know a boy who threw a bit of his own poo at someone.
He's fifteen.


Blue Sky Dreaming December 15, 2008 at 9:01 AM  

I wonder if this news clip will show up at the Bush Library in a few years? Save your shoes for tango...wow, what those shoes do for ankles and calves...downright wonderful...I remember!

My Castle in Spain December 15, 2008 at 10:17 AM  

you had me with the stiletto, dear J. !
i actually wonder what happened to the "criminal" shoes.Were they handed back to their owner or kept as evidence ? When I heard the journalist had been sentenced to 2 years, I couldn't help thinking, one year per shoe then ?

oh..and by the way your shoes are also to kill !!!

namastenancy December 15, 2008 at 10:57 AM  

Last year, this journalist was kidnapped by Shia militiamen. It's too much to expect George the Unready to understand, but it's those militiamen who will be able to claim this so-called "victory in Iraq" when it happens, and this journalist, who survived somehow under the tyrant Saddam Hussein, has found his life in great peril under the new regime brought to him courtesy of our own George the Unready and his ill-advised advisors.

Throwing shoes is certainly a foul. But committing mass murder without any idea why, that's the bigger foul, and that will be the lion's share of the legacy of George the Unready for generations to come.

UPDATE: The thrower's name is Muntadhar al-Zeidi. The last name is pronounced Al-Zay-Dee. Iraqis are protesting in the streets to have him released. A guy with this much guts deserves to be known by name, not just "some Iraqi journalist".

Sandra December 15, 2008 at 1:59 PM  

Too bad he didn't have a better aim.

Anonymous December 15, 2008 at 7:39 PM  

haha, thats hilarious and i'm so glad i dont watch tv

Jules December 15, 2008 at 8:23 PM  

to dance is my way of saying "yes" to life

Christina December 16, 2008 at 9:32 AM  

Dying! This is hilarious! I seriously think jail time would be worth it. Damn, that he missed!

Wonderful shoes!