Dude, next time try a stilletto.

I've got several pairs you can use. These silver ones look pretty fierce.

Although you're probably in jail now. And I don't want to send a pristine and beautiful pair of tango shoes to Iraq. They were expensive. The shoes, I mean. (Iraq was--and continues to be-- expensive, too. In too many ways to discuss on my dumb little blog.)

***

Not that this has anything to do with anything, but it kind of reminds me of when we used to go to the zoo as kids, and sometimes the chimps would throw poo at the crowd watching them. Honestly, I don't know what else chimps throw, but they can throw poo quite far. (Obviously an animal in captivity throwing feces is a sign that it's under duress and it's not funny, but when you're under the age of 10--mentally or physically-- you don't think about things like that.)

People would scream and laugh and run away and then come back again, but stand a just a tad farther away-- this time where they decided was outside of the perceived Poo Danger Zone.

One time a chimp-flung piece of poo flew about two (hey, that rhymes) inches over the head of a man we were standing next to. All he did was whistle and say, "Man, they should get that chimp to pitch for the Giants."

Herein ends my juvenile humor for today.

not.

By now, you guys know how I am.