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Monday, December 1, 2008

I Think My Food Combiner Is Broken

Warning: This is one of those silly posts. I am going to blame it on my head cold.

***

I think my food combining instincts are going completely wonky. I think because I had been left alone as a Bachelorette for two solid months that I became a weird culinary hybrid of frat boy, ascetic/hermit and kosher foodie with a vitamin B deficiency.

I am not going to say how many nights I had popcorn for dinner while The Boy was away. I am not going to say because 1) it's embarrassing to think about how many times I ate popcorn for dinner and sometimes breakfast, and 2) I don't remember. It was that many. And those nights where the side dish was Cherry Garcia ice cream. Nope, don't remember those either.

***

I am going to blame my little friend Chipmonkey for this popcorn fetish. She came over with her nutritional yeast (which I had never even heard of before October 11 as I am not in any way a vegan or a health food person, you know that) and her popcorn and started my whole craving/obsession at my Movie Maven's Movie Marathon for America thingy. And now I have an enormo can (12 oz.!) of nutritional yeast in my kitchen. And the only thing it tastes good on is popcorn. I have been eating loads of both ever since.

Today, I had stale popcorn and a side of pickled herring in sour cream for breakfast. The Boy always looks at me like I am Cat Woman when I eat these fishy things (and will not be kissed and runs away from me) and in the midst of eating this "breakfast," I really do have to stop and wonder what is wrong with me. This meal can't be as bad as Mia Farrow eating the raw liver in Rosemary's Baby, but it's still not quite right.

Why do I never want to eat normal foods for breakfast? Why is the only decent sounding meal to me this morning something that could be in a Monty Python skit? Yes, I eat the herring with these guys reciting in my head ("... and then you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with...... A HERRING!"). Do you do this? Eat foods that immediately make you recite Monty Python scenes? ("And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying,’O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and...")

I'm wondering what made me combine these two foods, like if there was a reasonable physiological cause then that would explain it. They're both white foods? Salty foods? Have no real nutritional value foods? Or I've learned my food combining from years of Monty Python watching?

My tangobaby food pyramid is very bizarre. It consists primarily of har gow, Funyuns, Junior Mints, Ovaltine and popcorn. And sushi and bratwust. Now I am even grossing myself out.

***

I recently discovered, through a cute little Minnesotan transplant at my work, about such things called hotdish. I partially thought that hot dishes only existed in Lake Wobegon, but no--hotdish even has its own wikipedia entry. But now I find that there is even such a casserole creation that is topped with Tater Tots. And another one made with herring!

Perhaps I am really a Midwesterner at heart? Can someone please help me with my food identity?

***

The only other thing I am going to leave you with now is a clip from Stephen Colbert's A Colbert Christmas because it is a very funny song about nutmeg.



If you don't come back to this blog for a while, I understand. I don't know what comes over me sometimes. But if you do eat weird things that make other people look at you askance, I really hope you'll fess up so we can start some sort of self-help group together.

18 comments:

Amanda December 1, 2008 at 8:11 PM  

The first thing I think of is pregnancy? And speaking of that, when I was pregnant with my first, I ate asparagus right out of the can along with a warmed up frozen burrito. I wasn't really craving it, but both things were in the kichen and sounded good when I laid my eyes on them.

As far as your food origins...I would love to have you as a midwesterner...crazy food combinations or not!

ModernTanguera December 1, 2008 at 8:25 PM  

I don't know what I find sillier: that non-midwesterners seem to never have heard of Tater Tot Casserole, or that Minnesotans call it hotdish! :)

I don't think there is anything *too* strange that I eat ... unless perhaps you think that cottage cheese isn't made to be a dip for cheesy Doritos ...

namastenancy December 1, 2008 at 9:32 PM  

I like popcorn for breakfast and I justify this by claiming that it's just a grain, in another form. I usually sprinkle mine with Parmesan cheese but now I will go looking for nutritional yeast and claim that it makes the popcorn even more nutritious. Having this with herring is a bit much for me but I like herring with sour cream and rye bread, but for lunch. Breakfast - not so much.
The Minnesota foods are so familiar. My sister married a guy from Minnesota and whenever I've visited, I've had great fun poking at their culinary delights. However, since I live in SF, you can image their revenge back. I confess to a secret love of of tater tots but dare not indulge too much for fear that my waist line will expand even further.

Red Shoes December 1, 2008 at 10:28 PM  

Maybe it's the cold. Because, you know, I have one too. And for breakfast I had macaroni and cheese with tuna in it. Of course I only do things like that when I have a cold.

Most days, I'm likely to have a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, and eggs for lunch.

That's okay, right?

Of course, I live with a man who will pour barbecue sauce on a tortilla, roll it up, and eat it.

Johanna December 1, 2008 at 11:15 PM  

So, I have a cold too!! What is this??? A computer cold virus??

You're killing me with this post though. No Monty Python in my pantry...

julochka December 2, 2008 at 4:03 AM  

spam eggs and spam, spam, spam, spam...(just in case you wanted more monty python-inspired foods)...bring me a bucket!!!

dutchbaby December 2, 2008 at 8:13 AM  

The first time I had nutritional yeast in popcorn was many years ago at the Aquarius Theater in downtown Palo Alto. It was offered as part of their normal fare of popcorn toppings right next to the parmesan cheese. Now it is my favorite way to eat popcorn. My family thinks I'm crazy, but my popcorn habit is just the tip of the iceberg. Is it wrong to eat popcorn for breakfast?

We must go to the Fancy Food Show next month so we can discover more crazy food combinations! Remember the lavender chocolate?

I hope you feel better very soon!

Yoli December 2, 2008 at 9:28 AM  

I hope you feel better soon my dear. Oh and about eating weird, I eat olives with EVERYTHING. My favorite pizza is pineapple and black olives. I am addicted to olives. I single handedly keep the groves alive.

Kath December 2, 2008 at 9:50 AM  

I love leftovers for breakfast. And pie, I love pie for breakfast.

Our two weird (family) sandwiches are:
bacon, strawberry jam & ketchup - divine

and

p.b., lettuce & miracle whip.

Kath December 2, 2008 at 9:50 AM  

I love leftovers for breakfast. And pie, I love pie for breakfast.

Our two weird (family) sandwiches are:
bacon, strawberry jam & ketchup - divine

and

p.b., lettuce & miracle whip.

Christina December 2, 2008 at 3:12 PM  

Food? Weird? Me?

Yep, I eat potato chips or some type of crunchy snack after breakfast, on Sundays. Eggs, make me hungry. I find all the soft foods at breakfast, make me want something crunchy.

Bagel, creme cheese and tuna. Yum!

I don't like hot pastas, except when there is a white sauce involved.

Tater tot casserole huh? Us mid- westerns, we can stretch a meal. ; ) Yum!

Dang, I want some fried rice and grilled steak.

The video is still funny as ever!

willow December 2, 2008 at 3:19 PM  

Okay, I'm feeling a little odd now. I find the herring thing a little weird. My mother made tater tot casserole and it was vile.

We quote the feasting upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats, too. And usually add a few of our own concoctions.

I've added Diary of a Lost Girl to my Netflix and Lulu Forever to my library list! ;^)

rochambeau December 2, 2008 at 7:37 PM  

Hey girl,
Left to my own devices I would eat cheese or popcorn every night. Great thing I have good influence surrounding me!
Loved the Colbert Xmas special! Yes I did!
xo
C

Relyn December 2, 2008 at 8:48 PM  

I am feeling very left out. I have tried and tried to think of some weird food combination I love, but have failed miserably. Isn't it funny? I am sitting here wanting to be part of the weird food club. I'm thinking....


Nope.

Still thinking...


When I was a kid the "treat" I snuck when my Mom was gone was a piece of Wonder bread smeared all over with margarine and topped with cupcake sprinkles. Oh, ick! Can't stand the thought. Also, I liked Fluffernutter sandwiches and dry Koolaid mixed with sugar sucked off my finger. (Don't they make a candy like that now.)

I was an odd kid. But, nothing now.

OH!! GOT IT! Finally! I like a cracker, just a plain old saltine covered in mayo and topped with cheddar cheese. It's good.

miss alaineus December 12, 2008 at 6:57 PM  

your block rocks. your snaps are very nice, and well matched with your quotes.

it is important to note that all hotdishes have an integral component: cream of *something* soup as a base. without the base, all efforts are futile.

you should come visit the alemanac. your presence would certainly class up the joint.

miss alaineus

ps this is from a girl that lives on mashed yams, coffee and creamed spinach.

WindDancer December 13, 2008 at 1:17 AM  

Don't know how old ya might be, but you have a might pen. Just so exhilarating to read your blogs. I am a born & still native Okie. Only been to San Francisco once & that was as a touristo. Saw places like Fishermans Wharf, went down the hilly streets, wandered around downtown. Saw street musicians & dancers. I was mesmirized as we have nothing like that in Oklahoma, actually it almost scared me. We drove on up to Port Arena, wonderful place. I had never seen the Pacific Ocean before, waded out in the surf, fixed my eyes on the horizon, lost my balance & fell in the water. Would love to see all again but just too many people. I live in a rural area with nature around me. We feed the birds, have deer, opossums, racoons and an ocasional fox wander up in our back yard. I don't do crowds well as I have grown older & not much of a club person. But back to the jist of the message, you are refreshing. Thank you. Windancer

tangobaby December 13, 2008 at 11:18 AM  

Hi guys,

I am not going to tell you what I had for breakfast this morning, except to say that now I have a tummy ache and wish I hadn't done it.

And to WindDancer, I really enjoyed your comment about visiting San Francisco. You seemed to have gotten a lot out of it, and I'll say you're a braver soul than I am for going into the ocean. It's FREEZING out there.

I'm not a club person either but wouldn't mind seeing a random deer or fox near my house, but I don't think they can manage the bus fare. :-)

Happy Saturday all, and miss alaineus, I'll try to stop over for some yams soon.

sarah April 21, 2009 at 1:23 PM  

I randomly found your blog. Hilarious.

I tend to eat random crap when I'm feeling depressed or when I just can't be bothered to think through feeding myself. The consequences usually involve a giant mound of ground beef that I pretend is a burger even though I have no bun or condiments. Or an entire head of broccoli covered in cheese with a side of strawberry yogurt and a bowl of bran flakes. But tonight I'm going all out with fish sticks and frozen peas...I really hope my foodie flatmate comes back soon...