Thanks for visiting. This site will no longer be updated.

Please visit my new site.

You can find new writing, new photos at


Monday, December 21, 2009

I am my own Grinch.

If you can guess what this is, I will give it to you. (A hint: it is not a poo on a stick. But it is something on a stick.)


I am trying to figure out what happened to me today.

My mood has gone from zero to 60. Zero as in this morning I was going to walk up to the Carmelite Monastery of Cristo Rey at the corner of Fulton and Parker and sit in the pews. No joke. I was. It was misty and grey this morning but I wanted to walk there to smell the incense. I know you must think I've lost my mind. But I like churches, as places. I can't even explain it right now. (I could perhaps trace it back to watching Audrey Hepburn in The Nun's Story, but that would mostly be making it up.)

In the meantime, between wanting to be a pretend nun and sit in a pew, I have come down with the cold (again, WTF?!!) that I had last week and now I hate the holidays. I don't celebrate them, but I'm so over them.

And zooming to 60, as in now I feel like writing terribly sarcastic letters to tangential people I know that annoy me and am feeling very badly that I don't own a typewriter. All of a sudden, I really really want a typewriter. I want to smell the typewriter ribbons and the dust that gets inside the keys. I want onion skin paper to type on and those crappy eraser thingys with the little fan to brush the eraser crumbs off at one end. And I want a real phone. A phone with a twisty cord and a heavy receiver, the kind of receiver where you could screw off the end of it and see all the wires and shit inside of it. The kind of phone you can slam down in the cradle. I also want a Texas Instruments calculator, like the kind I had in 6th grade, where the keys made these clicky sounds and the numbers lit up in little red LEDS. I want a transistor radio so I can take off the back and look at the circuitry that looks like itsy-bitsy buildings and roads.

I'm tired of iPhones with their slick, smarmy screens.

I want buttons I can PUSH.

I think what I'm trying to say is that I want things to be real. Like they used to be.


Kelly Kilmer December 21, 2009 at 8:24 PM  

You totally knew I was going to say poo on a stick.

A Chocolate Santa with a stick up his you know what?

Hope your week gets better. I've also had a crappy day.

dutchbaby December 21, 2009 at 9:16 PM  

I have no idea what it is but it looks like it used to have a different shape before it melted.

My son just got his second cold of the season. Poor fella. Poor you.

Real typewriters are so cool. I believe there's a place in Los Altos that still sells old typewriters with ribbons 'n' all.

I absolutely did not need to learn that you were only in 6th grade when Texas Instruments put out their early calculators. I was a freshman in college when HP put out the HP 35, the equivalent of a freebie four-function calculator today, for $300.

I drank the iPhone KoolAid. It's a great machine but I often miss my Palm stylus. I love clicky sounds of keyboards. The IBM keyboard has a great clicky sound, so does the Blackberry phone.

Wonderful post!

RNSANE December 21, 2009 at 11:40 PM  

I haven't a clue what it is but I don't think I want to eat it!!

I agree, sometimes the old things seem nice - for a day or two!

Anonymous December 21, 2009 at 11:50 PM  

thats funny i was just watching hepburns charade last night and thinking how nice it would be to have one of those classy old phones again. among other things. i can't turn back time but luckily i can always watch an old b&w film

Cheryl December 22, 2009 at 2:48 AM  

I don't care what it is ~ it's chocolate and that's all that counts, especially on a bad day.

We still have a corded phone {here in NH you never know when you'll lose power and need to reach out}. You can come over and take it apart if you have airfare. My monster desktop's keyoard has a satifying clickety clack. No iPhone for me, I'll stick with my clunky old cell. I stay behind the curve, heels dug in, as long as I can.

Sadly, what's happened is all real. It's also just really boring.

Melissa December 22, 2009 at 4:56 AM  

I think that was what churches where built for... shelter, peace and incense; Before it all got confusing. Love your city, love your blog.

Rachel December 22, 2009 at 8:00 AM  

The Gables on Geary and... what, 22? They might have typewriter supplies. They have anything else. Hope today is a better day...

~Kenny December 22, 2009 at 8:39 AM  

Hey while were at it Grandma let's bring back small pox and polio none of this mamby pamby new fangled H1N1 crapola. Oh and what about lead paint now there is something that covered walls ..primer shmimer.In fact while were at it let's bring back monochrome screens and floppy disks..Graphical interfaces and TB drives are soooo played out. Where is a good Tommy Gun and Fedora when you need one?!!!

Dru December 22, 2009 at 11:20 AM  

Since it's now Tuesday, I hope it's all good again for you. And until reading your post, i forgot how much I loved the smell of my parents' typewriter. You can keep the eraser though...

AphotoAday December 23, 2009 at 11:05 PM  

I was wondering when you were going to mention transistor radios, and you did...

msHedgehog December 26, 2009 at 7:23 AM  

All keys should click (with a mechanical click, not a fake click). I learned to type on an ancient manual typewriter and they're great. You know exactly where you are.

I really want one now. Wouldn't a wind-up gramophone be a good thing to have in a power cut? That or some real musicians, unplugged.

Relyn December 27, 2009 at 4:32 PM  

I've been dying for a typewriter, too. Just dying for it.