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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

what would have happened.

I found this photo today. I wish I could call her and tell her I'm going to be in the newspaper on Thursday. She would have loved to have a clipping to show her friends.


I am supposed to be in the newspaper on Thursday. October 1, in the San Francisco Chronicle. (When I say I, I mean me and the i live here:SF project.)

I say supposed to just because, well, you know how things are. I guess the Chron could still change their minds and not run the story but I should be more confident about it and say Yes, I'm going to be in the paper on Thursday. You should pick up a copy. And get an extra for a friend.

I'm still going to be excited about the whole newspaper story in a little while, but that sharp sticking poke of loss from finding Little Helen in my photo software is taking a few minutes to shake off. Keeping busy does wonders in the intentional forgetting and moving on department but it still does catch up with you.

I can picture her sitting in that blue recliner, next to her metal TV tray with a collection of PARADE magazines and clipped coupons and cough drops, with her collection of small, perfectly sharpened ends of pencils (she liked to save the tiniest bits of pencils and rubberband them in bunches), and this newly printed newspaper article about her first granddaughter, who has a photography project that got into the San Francisco newspaper. Can you believe it? Little Julie Michelle! In the newspapers!

She would call me and tell me how proud of me she was.

I know she would.


Anonymous September 29, 2009 at 4:58 PM  

Uh! Such a beautiful and touching post! By the way, I love the changes you've made to your blog. Your new header is amazing, and shortening your right sidebar was a good idea.

Gillian September 29, 2009 at 7:01 PM  

The post leaves me weepy. Sigh, we are not replaceable. No sir.
Each of us holds a special place here. Hugs to Helen wherever she is and for you too. xo

Dani September 29, 2009 at 7:03 PM  

what a wonderful picture and post. just tugs at my heart! congrats on the paper!

Lia September 29, 2009 at 8:31 PM  

I tell myself when I have times like you're experiencing that we should pass the goodness and love we've received along to someone else who may need it and that sometimes helps ease the profound sense of loss. Keep us posted about the article!

Dina September 29, 2009 at 9:04 PM  

Such a stirring and beautiful post and photo. I, too, am a little weepy... remembering my 97 year old grandmother who died only last month.

urbaNiche September 29, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

this is a very touching post and thats a beautiful picture you found.
congrats on getting published!

BeachILike September 29, 2009 at 10:44 PM  

I love this blog header, it is beautiful.

Anonymous September 30, 2009 at 3:00 AM  

Congratulations Julie :-) I love that photo of little Helen and your new blog header!

Humble Magnificent September 30, 2009 at 5:36 AM  

This is such a lovely post - it really touched my heart. Having recently lost my grandfather I know exactly what mean about seeing a photo of your loved one and it bringing back how dear they are to you and how you miss them. I'm sure she would be completely tickled pink over your future newspaper appearance.

Also thankyouthankyouthankyou for following my blog - made me super duper squiggly happy!

AphotoAday September 30, 2009 at 7:09 AM  

Am SO excited for you and the newspaper article. But "I Live Here; SF" deserves to be noticed -- I think you've come up with something very unique and significant...

Now, you didn't say that Little Helen was your grandmother, but I'm going to assume she was. Little stubby pencils all banded together -- that's quite a picture...

My grandmother was into saving rubber bands -- she would save them on doorknobs until no more would fit... She was firm yet kind -- and if she was proud of me she would have never said anything, but I doubt if I ever gave her much reason... One time, I was about 16, I got a whole page of my photos published in the Monterey Peninsula Herald -- I sent her a copy, but I didn't hear a peep... Oh well, I wasn't expecting anything... Maybe I should write something about her some day... Thanks for the inspiration...

Mari September 30, 2009 at 8:54 AM  

I'm proud of you too, little Julie Michelle! I'm going to call my parents and have them send me that article.

kath September 30, 2009 at 10:15 AM  

I'm proud of you ....

Yolanda September 30, 2009 at 12:46 PM  

I am so proud of you and you deserve it. I have lurked here for awhile and thought I would post today

SE'LAH... September 30, 2009 at 1:34 PM  

wow...such a beautiful and touching post...i KNOW she would have been proud of you. I sure am. Always.

you have such a wonderful heart.


Middle Aged Woman Blogging September 30, 2009 at 3:13 PM  

Congratulations!! I'm so excited for you! Please post a link to the article if possible.

I love your picture.... it reminds me of my father and his never ending dementia... My heart hurts.