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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Photoshop Is Making Me Suicidal

Trying to figure out how to use Photoshop by yourself is probably something that a person who is patience-impaired should not do. Especially when that person (me) doesn't like to read tutorials or instructions.

I am not sure exactly how one learns Photoshop in one's own lifetime without taking up dangerous side exploits like playing on railroad tracks at night or drinking absinthe.

When I need to perk myself up, I do two things (they don't always work, but it's better than some other alternatives):
1. make myself a glass of Ovaltine (extra spoon, thank you!)
2. put on my Harry James CD (and sing along)

Since you probably aren't interested in watching me down another glass of chocolate malt, you can listen to one of my favorites from the CD: Kitty Kallen singing "It's Been a Long, Long Time." Plus you get to see some great footage of Rita Hayworth. Someday, I'll figure out how to put music on my blog, but first I have to get this Photoshop out of my system.

Oh, what the heck, I love this one too. Here's Harry James with Helen Forrest singing "I Don't Want to Walk Without You":

You really should give this CD a try. It's fab.

I feel better already. [please help me. *tiny scream* what the f*ck is an embedded color profile?! *sob*]


mrs. sarah ott August 19, 2008 at 10:47 PM  

sniffles, hugs. have you cursed at it yet? when something doesn't work, i curse at it. i'm sure you've thought of this already. beyond that i'm definetly clueless.
but glad you're feeling better already. me too, i just love visiting your blog. : )

Carol August 20, 2008 at 1:09 AM  

I cannot help you I'm afraid, I have avoided Photoshop so far because I'm afraid of it for all of the reasons you posted about... I tend to use Picnik, which is nice and simple for the fearful like me ;-)


margie August 20, 2008 at 5:30 AM  

oh poor tangled up tango baby. kath and i are in the same boat, get yourself a scott kelby photoshop book right away, http://photoshoponline.tv/, go to this site and watch the videos. it is so frustrating. i also do the scream more often than not. what's even worse is that you can look out the window and it's dark and you sat down in the morning. photoshop sucks the life out of us all. ahh but the pictures, the pictures. thanks for the link!!!!

P August 20, 2008 at 7:02 AM  

Funny, Photoshop makes me homocidal. I feel your pain - I'm learning to use it too, mostly by trial and error. What an ordeal.

Psyche August 20, 2008 at 10:29 AM  

Photoshop is incomprehensible. It's like they intentionally made it that way so that only design snobs could use it. I loathe it. I don't use it, even though I'm a graphic designer. I use Paint Shop Pro, even though all my colleagues laugh at me, because it's friendly and flexible and easy to use. It doesn't matter what platform you use, all that matters is what you do with it, but sadly there are a lot of Photoshop snobs out there. Most of them use macs. Bloody designers.

tangobaby August 20, 2008 at 1:34 PM  

Hi sarah,

I was too flustered to swear, but normally I would have. I think I swear more when I am p.o.'ed about something I can be righteous about, but since I am pretty clueless about this stuff, I just kept eating chips and salsa, and when that didn't help, I moved on to Ovaltine.

I hope you liked the music, though. You're such a jazz baby!

I love visiting your blog too...your poetry has been off the hook beautiful lately. Good job, lady.

Hi Carol,

That's okay, you don't really need to help me. But I appreciate the comaraderie. Basically, if a photo needs a lot of tweaking, then it's not a keeper to me. But iPhoto has been fine so far. For some reason, Piknik does not run on my mac, but it looks very similar.

Kiss the little cutie boy and have fun taking photos. I just added you to my blogroll, too...


Hi margie,

Do you promise that those books won't make me fall asleep? I think I should start with the videos first! Thank you for the suggestion! I learn quite quickly (historically) when I see something demonstrated first. I'll let you know how it goes and thanks for the tip!

Hi p,

I cannot help feeling that you have more self-esteem or more self worth than I do. If PS makes you want to blow away others than just yourself. But at least we are on the same page with the killing part.

I am feeling better today though. And nary a Junior Mint or a sip of Ovaltine has passed my lips.

If you end up becoming a total PS pro, please don't tell me. I've already come of the ledge. I don't want to get back up there.

Hi psyche!

YES! In addition to my ravings yesterday, I did take a moment to ponder the people that I know who are very good at PS (and I do know a few but it was too late to call them and whine) and even though they are very nice people whom I like a lot, in that moment, I disliked them immensely.

Photoshop can really cloud a person's brain from thinking nice thoughts. I will have to look for PaintShop Pro someday and see if that's a future possibility. I took a look at Aperture (what other big, grownup people use for photo management) and my eyes glazed over.

Tomate Farcie August 20, 2008 at 1:43 PM  

I don't have PhotoShop. I have a Corel version of something similar which I haven't figured out how to use yet... I feel your pain.

I did a little googling and found that 2 days of classes for Photoshop can cost upwards of $700 in San Francisco. But there is a Photoshop for dummy book out there (that would bring the cost down to $15) These books are pretty good in giving the basics in plain English. Hope that helps.

Christina August 20, 2008 at 3:28 PM  

Photoshop is the devil!

For the record- all I know about photoshop I learned from a few books I borrowed from the library.

PS: I still don't like photoshop!

: )

b August 20, 2008 at 4:37 PM  

I can teach you Photoshop over Skype if you like. I have been using it for over twenty years and teach classes on it here at the photolab. 1/2 hour of "Photoshop for photographers" would do a lot for your ability to prep your stuff for printing.

love -

dutchbaby August 20, 2008 at 5:22 PM  

I agree that Photoshop is far from intuitive. I took a photoshop class at our community college here and I learned tons. We used a very good book by Adobe called Classroom in a Book. Each chapter is a lesson for a different technique like photo correction, retouching, layering, selection techniques, or masks. We were assigned one lesson each week so by the end of the quarter we finished ten chapters. I suppose I could have done this on my own, but I simply don't have the discipline.

Now that I know a tiny bit about its capabilities, I'm quite impressed with the Photoshop software.

Good luck!

Relyn August 20, 2008 at 9:30 PM  

Hey, not sure if you want some practical help yet. Sometimes, it feels good just to (in your words) whine and bitch. "No practical help now, thank you very much." Anyway, skip this if you don't want the practical and I'll just send you a super-sized box of Jr. Mints.

Or, read on for the practical.

OK: T Dummies book is good, but don't spend the $15, get it from your library. Better, take a class from your local library for free. Or, pay the local community college about $75 and take an extension class. I took one of those classes for free this summer because it was aimed at teachers. I found the class to be far better than the Dummies book since that series tends to be very, very basic. Anyway, my teacher told me about some tutorials available online. I'll see if I can scrounge up my notes and send you some links.

About putting music on your blog. Easy as pie. Far easier than Photoshop.
1. Go to my blog.
2. Scroll to the bottom and find the music player.
3. Click on create your free playlist.
4. The link will get you started. The site provides instructions that are far easier than setting up a blog.

Love you!

tangobaby August 21, 2008 at 1:09 PM  

bonjour tomate,

Oh, I would never pay that kind of money for anything that did not involve a pair of shoes or a vacation! Even the $15 makes me pause...unless I got someone with a cute French accent to read the book aloud to me. I would probably learn much faster that way.

But I do feel better knowing that I'm in good company.


Hi Christina!

Every time you say something is the Devil, you make me laugh out loud. Seeing that written out is hilarious (to me, at least). And you have been saying it a lot lately.

Funny girl!

Hi b,

I just may take you up on that PS class someday...now what's Skype again?

(Heh heh. I'm just playing with you.)

I know you must be an awesome teacher, so I'm honored to have such an expert in my back pocket!

Hi dutchbaby,

But you're such a good student so that's why you can learn these things out of the book. I've seen you in action. But that book doesn't sound too scary...

Hi relyn,

I know you won't believe this, but I have not had Junior Mints for a whole week. The last box I had must have melted and re-cooled because all of the Junior Mints were massed into a giant block and I had to chip off little bits.

That sort of put me off them for a while, I guess. Maybe that's where the Ovaltine is coming in handy.

I cannot take an extension class because 1. I sign up for them and then don't take them, and 2. if I take a course, then I won't have time to blog. Now you know what my priorities are.

But you are so very kind to send all of these suggestions, and how to put music on my blog. Now, the question is, if I put music on my blog, will I get a lot of my readers busted at work for goofing off when the music starts playing? I don't want to get anyone in trouble...

Love you, too. I hope you're surviving Second Grade!

Abbey August 23, 2008 at 11:36 PM  

Oh Girl, I hear ya! I'm a slow, slow, slow self-taught photoshopper. And I'm sure the way I do things is COMPLETELY WRONG...but it works for me so oh well. :)