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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Desperately Seeking Sponsor

January 25, 2009

Department of Employment, Tourism, Mental Health and Grants for the Arts
City Hall
San Francisco, California

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please excuse the formality of this letter as I had hoped to speak with someone in your office. However, I could not find your office so this letter must be my voice and representative.

As you may or may not know, I am a resident of San Francisco and have been on a "Staycation" (aka, vacation at home due to insufficient funds for travel abroad). At first, I was ambivalent as to the quality of the vacation I would enjoy here, even though as a resident I feel that San Francisco is one of the best places to live. I had my sights set on more exotic locations.

However, I must admit that this has been one of the best holidays I have ever had, which is why I am contacting you today.

Due to my increased productivity and overall enjoyment of life in general, I would like to request a grant of sufficient monies (including health care) so that I might continue my Staycation and not have to go back to work tomorrow. The benefits to me as a happy citizen (and registered voter, I might add) would not even begin to compare to the benefits that San Francisco as a city would reap due to my redoubled efforts to promote our city by taking thousands of photos and writing about my adventures on my blog. The amount of time such PR takes is tremendous and even now I have only been able to describe a fraction of the fun I've had, not to mention the delicious meals I've enjoyed around town and the new friends I've made.

I think I could greatly improve San Francisco's image and overcome some disturbing stereotypes that may be disrupting tourism.

Also, I am incredibly bummed at the thought of going back to the office tomorrow (it's almost too much to bear) and this grant would allow me to continue in the lifestyle I have become accustomed in the past two weeks.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you soon (today would be great but I'm guessing your office is closed on Sundays).

Very most sincerely and incredibly appreciatively yours,


ps.: I have enclosed a photo from the last Staycation I had so you will know that my request is quite serious. Until now, I had not had a Staycation since that photo was taken.

pss.: I am the one in the plaid pants.

psss.: PLEASE help me and give me a grant so I can stay on Staycation.


RosieK January 25, 2009 at 10:47 AM  

Fantastic - love it and going to apply for a grant myself to be somewhere I really want to be!!! Thanks for brilliant suggestion! More please...........

My Castle in Spain January 25, 2009 at 10:51 AM  

Love it !! alas..i'm so sorry i don't work at the Dept of Employment and al., otherwise i'd allocate you a grant right away. Your mission would be to promote all these exciting places San F has to offer and be in charge of students exchange between SF and Granada...

in the meantime, make the most of your sunday, sweetie !

Diana January 25, 2009 at 11:17 AM  

Excelent idea!

Nancy Ewart January 25, 2009 at 11:45 AM  

A most excellent idea indeed! If you need a reference from a long-time San Franciscan I'll be glad to provide one. You are not only a most delightful companion on walks up steep hills and down slippery stairs; you are a fabulous photographer!

shabby girl January 25, 2009 at 12:05 PM  

As long as you're requesting a grant, I do hope you will consider increasing the amount to cover my position as well. After all, you will be needing someone to guide you around puddles, off curbs, and out of the way of traffic while you are taking said pictures.

The Pink Cowboy January 25, 2009 at 1:15 PM  

I think you should be named Miss San Francisco Tourism 2009, and wear a tiara in the form of the Golden Gate Bridge and a scepter every day while you meet tourists around the city. You have the right to sing the blues, living in glorious San Francisco and having to work. The nerve!!!!!

Gabby January 25, 2009 at 1:54 PM  

I think you should be able to carve out a niche career giving art walks and tours for photographers, dancers, and -- yes -- writers. And if you get a big, big grant, you'll need a web guy, content writer, and someone to be your Guy Friday. just sayin'....

Char January 25, 2009 at 2:28 PM  

you made me chuckle....let me know if the grant works so I can apply for a similar one in Alabama.

tim January 25, 2009 at 2:38 PM  

Nice try, but I see a couple of deficiencies in your plan. First of all you are aiming way too low by asking for such meager funding, that's an amount we couldn't bother to consider and besides that your asking the wrong people...we're broke too. You need to go straight to the Obama gang, they're shoveling out the cash faster than he can talk. Good luck in your efforts, but I'd start at a figure no less than 10 billion.


Mary-Laure January 25, 2009 at 2:47 PM  

How fun fun FUN!

La Pianista January 25, 2009 at 2:56 PM  

That's what we did for Christmas. We tried to go three times, but the flights were booked each and every time. So we stayed home and pretended we were tourists, with the tackiness, sunglasses, and the fanny packs.

Staycation. I think that's gonna be a neologism sometime soon. ;)

larkspur January 25, 2009 at 6:23 PM  

TangoBaby--I have always believed in a Staycation following a vacation, so a Staycation following a Staycation is even a better idea. I have enclosed a check to cover the grant. It is in the mail.....;)

Relyn Lawson January 25, 2009 at 6:33 PM  

Were it up to me, I would grant your request. Immediately. Alas, I lost my fairy godmother wand. However, I will join the Pink Cowboy in his attempts to to have you named Miss San Francisco Tourism 2009. I definitely think you could carry off the tiara.

Yoli January 25, 2009 at 7:25 PM  

You look adorable and this is too funny. I am about to celebrate tomorrow the year of the Ox. Saw the annoying Duggar wedding tonight and saw this gem online. What was expected of a wife in 1894:


Adan January 25, 2009 at 8:01 PM  

Dear Julie,

As you may or may not be aware, our office is, in fact closed Sundays, but I am glad to have found your letter on a chance trip into the office.

I would love to allocate the appropriate funding necessary to grant your request, but we have allocated all of our remaining funds to Chesley Sullenberger for his whirl wind tour across the San Fransisco area.

We have visited your blog and see that you are a fine advocate of San Fransisco and as of late, an avid photographer of our wild parrots on Telegraph Hill.

I do apologize that we cannot grant your request, but we found it fitting to grant Sully's request as he was able to land a plane in the Hudson River when two Geese entered his engines.

We welcome you back to our workforce and hope your next staycation is as fun filled and entertaining as your last.



julochka January 25, 2009 at 11:37 PM  

adore the plaid pants.

you must let us know what they say! :-) and if it works, i'm so gonna write an appeal to copenhagen...

paris parfait January 26, 2009 at 2:47 AM  

If only...I like Adam's answer. Bon courage as you venture back to work. Sigh.

Geert Groote and his urbane double egg. January 26, 2009 at 5:19 AM  

I L-O-V-E staycations!! haha. good luck in your plight!

ps. In my dance class that I just signed up for literally last Wednesday, one of the dances we are learning (or trying to learn, hehe) is the Tango. :)

GG and his awesomely urbane double egg.

Anonymous January 26, 2009 at 6:36 AM  

well, the plaid pants explain the tango dancing. finally.

nicole January 26, 2009 at 7:12 AM  

I am searching for your solution right now. Until then perhaps you could Tango a little bit more for us...You really made my day with that beautiful expression:)