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Monday, January 12, 2009

Oh, for crying out loud!

What is the difference between this?

The monolith from the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey

and this

The monolith from the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey

and this

A giant stick of butter that fell off of my spatula (don't ask) and now is wedged between my refrigerator and the stove?

And I can't reach it?!


I am looking at this freaking miniature monolith of butter back there and all I can do is laugh and picture myself as a Stanley Kubrick monkey getting all pissed off and throwing a bone in the sky.

Boy, I wish I could reach that butter. And it's Plugra too. Damn, that sh*t's expensive.

Does this mean I'm going to evolve into the Star-Child soon? Because maybe then I'll figure out how to get the butter. *sigh*


ps.: Just so you know, this wasn't the post I had intended to write, but I'm very distracted and certainly not very evolved right now.


Red Shoes January 12, 2009 at 5:47 PM  

What were you making?

tangobaby January 12, 2009 at 5:50 PM  

Chicken curry and basmati rice. Yummy. I need that gopher we saw today so I can train it to go and get the butter.

Brenda Susan January 12, 2009 at 6:40 PM  


Anonymous January 12, 2009 at 7:02 PM  

The difference is that your butter isn't a topic of discussion at overpriced art schools all across the globe. Just as relevant thou.

Silliyak January 12, 2009 at 8:24 PM  

Two broom like handles upside down with a swath of duct tape between them to scoop the "butterlith". If you're trying to "save" it put a paper towel on the tape. Afterwards you can use more papertowels on the ends of the handles to wipe up any mess.
I'm sure this will work because my word verification is "triate"

Just Jules January 12, 2009 at 8:25 PM  

...And because I am a problem solver (or have evolved into one) All I can think about is, How to get the butter out.... I want to give you a great solution. Love the tile floor though.

will January 12, 2009 at 8:28 PM  

Looks to me that the butter fell on one of the squares in Jack Chalker's Well of Souls planets.

Probably will cause a morphing shift in either Ant World or Roach World.

So watch out for praying bugs or tiny bones tossed in the air.

You can be the dispassionate god who simply watches.

iasa January 12, 2009 at 8:40 PM  

I love the floor tiles, they are fab. Can you not just move the fridge? or you could duct tape a cup to the end of a yardstick (or such) and drag it out. Should save most of it.

Yoli January 12, 2009 at 9:15 PM  

I can't stop laughing. I love you woman.

La Pianista January 12, 2009 at 9:55 PM  

lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz lulz (ad infinitum)

On the other hand, the bugs must be happy. To them, it's a real monolith. ;)

Dutchbaby January 12, 2009 at 11:13 PM  

Of course it was Plugra - it couldn't have been Safeway brand. Curry just wouldn't taste right with Baconaise, so that's out. I'm so sorry about your predicament. Maybe Cuban in London can loan you a cricket bat.

btw, I'm too chicken to be interviewed by you. You have way too much insider info on me :-)

Anonymous January 12, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

Oh, TB. Plugras???!!! My heart aches for you.

For heaven's sake, get the plunger! Doesn't the plunger fix everything?

tangobaby January 12, 2009 at 11:18 PM  

Oh come on, dutchbaby, let me interview you. I'll pretend like I don't know you.

And you know if you dropped butter between your fridge and the stove, which I know you can't, that you'll be dropping Plugra too.

And FYI to everyone, I didn't want to rescue the butter and reuse it. I think some of you thought I was trying to be extremely thrifty.

I did finally manage to remove the monolith although that photo is still cracking me up.

b January 12, 2009 at 11:29 PM  

That butter photograph is so beautiful.

Our kitchen has black and white tiles....

julochka January 13, 2009 at 12:25 AM  

doesn't the boy have long arms? send him in after the monolith of butter.

like the b&w floor, tho'


p.s. perhaps you can use a "trona" (my WV), which simply must be an implement for retrieving objects that are just out of reach.

DollZandThingZ January 13, 2009 at 4:09 AM  

This post is so great on so many levels! I cannot even find words to say how much I enjoyed it.

Of course, the butter landed there.. the yard stick works here for those sorts of mishaps..and the clean up is not pretty. Your blog makes my day....this was hilarious though probably not-so-much when the butter went splat! Beware of peanut and butter jelly sandwiches...!

eunice January 13, 2009 at 4:54 AM  

omfg, that's hilarious!

Char January 13, 2009 at 5:51 AM  

well heck, now my all sage advice is rather useless and my wisdom regarding 2001 is...ehhhh

but man, I love that irish butter.

Sarah January 13, 2009 at 6:13 AM  

Only you could make a stick of butter look beautifully appetizing to a gym rat.... Ha!

You're too silly. Love it!


iasa January 13, 2009 at 6:32 AM  

I didn't want to rescue the butter and reuse it.

Sorry, I admit my first thought was 'great floor'. And 'save the butter' was close on it's heels. Maybe I've been poor too long, ya think? ;)

I could also do with keeping extra butter around.

Laura Doyle January 13, 2009 at 6:36 AM  

I tried to make some ziti at lunch yesterday and when I did the noodle test, it hopped gracefully from the fork and nestled itself in an equally inaccessible niche.

Which reminds me, when I was little, I used to fantasize about what it would be like to be able to morph into a tiny little creature (mouse, ant, etc.) that could explore all those dark and mysterious miniature places. It would be puzzling to come across your butter monolith.

robin laws January 13, 2009 at 10:49 AM  

oh gawd...hee hee hee....

honestly i was reading this post in my mail RSS links and thought it was an art show or something and that the butter wedged between the fridge and stove was the title of a 3D art piece! i'm all serious here. i was, for no reason what-so-ever thinking you were in some museum or art gallery. well i guess your kitchen is a sort of art gallery isn't it?

Elizabeth Brinton January 13, 2009 at 11:34 AM  

O.K. See the monkey? See the monkey with a stick, getting ants out of a log? Hint: Monkey see, monkey do. ;)

larkspur January 13, 2009 at 1:19 PM  

Quick, get it b4 it melts, or you'll be licking the Plugra off the floor;}

~DokterKenny January 13, 2009 at 3:35 PM  

I'm sorry Hal, but I cannot allow you to go between between your stove and your refrigerator Hal.

Wendy January 13, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

Hey, we had something similar in our kitchen called "Butterhenge"!

Anonymous January 14, 2009 at 12:08 AM  

*lol* this post made me chuckle.

diana murphy January 14, 2009 at 10:58 AM  

"Boy, I wish I could reach that butter."

Without your space helmet, Dave, you're going to find that rather difficult.

This entire butterlith escapade is brilliant.

Last of the Fauxicans January 15, 2009 at 6:11 PM  

Holy crap. As a lit grad student trained to analyze the bejesus out of anything, my brian is is symbolic-metaphoric overload. Where to begin.