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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How to Run a Real Fashion-y Campaign

When I woke up this morning, I was so jazzed about the idea of starting my fact-finding commission so that I could consider being on a ticket for the 2012 elections.

I hate picking out what to wear in the morning because some of my clothes are looking pretty tired and it takes a lot of effort to pull together a cute outfit with last year's H&M sweaters.

So imagine my little fashion bubble being burst when I read this statement from the McCain campaign:

"With all of the important issues facing the country right now, it's remarkable that we're spending time talking about pantsuits and blouses," said spokesperson Tracey Schmitt. "It was always the intent that the clothing go to a charitable purpose after the campaign."

That statement totally bummed me out. Sarah doesn't get to keep the clothes! Man, if I were her, I'd drop out of the race right this instant. Ladies, you know how it is--when you finally get some awesome clothes that fit you perfectly and make you look like someone you're not, only better...and then--you have to give them back?! That is a fashionista's worst nightmare!

But who wants used Vice Presidential candidate clothes? What, are they going to make her sell the clothes on eBay, like that plane? (Oh, I forgot. That didn't really happen.) Or maybe she can donate the clothes to "real" Americans like Joe the Plumber's wife (if he has one, I'm being hypothetical here) and that poor old lady (Gayle Quinnell) who told McCain that Obama was a Muslim terrorist. You know, like dividends to people who helped with the campaign.


BUT, then I thought: Hey, in some totally warped space-time continuum where Palin really does make it to the second most powerful job in the country, she'll be in charge of Congress! I bet she could use that power to work with Congress to change the laws regarding how campaigns spend their funds! With enough winking, she could get those dowdy senators to let her keep the clothes.

And then that would pave the way for me to run my exploratory commission. Because I'm only interested in running if I get to keep the clothes.


Just so you know, if and when I decide to run for office in 2012, I will buy my starter campaign wardrobe from the Back Room at Loehmann's because, let's face it, "real" Americans wouldn't know a last season's Valentino suit from this season's, and I don't want to abuse their trust. I would rather spend their money with much foresight and discretion than blow it all in a single whopping orgasmic spree.

Once I get into office though, then I'll be shopping full retail--no sales!--after I wrangle Congress to give me a raise.

ps. Just so you know, I would like to express my flexibility in thinking by going more with Donna Karan than St. John and Valentino for my campaign wardrobe. I want my candidacy not to require me to have to wear Spanx all the time.


Vanessa October 22, 2008 at 10:23 AM  

It was always the intention to have the clothes go to a charitable purpose after the elections? Really? That's such a lame statement! And, I would guess, even patently untrue. I appreciate what power dressing is about. I also appreciate honesty.

tangobaby October 22, 2008 at 11:07 AM  

Hi Vanessa,

What are you trying to say here, that the McCain spokespeople LIE?


And here I thought that Joe the Plumber's wife was going to get a closet makeover from Saks Fifth Avenue. Or that maybe she sell the clothes and give some of that money to people who have lost their homes or 401k's.

Now I'm totally disillusioned.

Christina October 22, 2008 at 3:26 PM  

Spanx! Now there's something I can relate to! Yep!

rochambeau October 22, 2008 at 4:12 PM  

Hi Tagobaby,
This post makes me smile. Thank you for your wry sense of humor.
You can dress a girl up,
but 'cha' can't make her VP!!

Im not thinkin' the couture "outfit's" are workin'.
To make an outfit SHINE, one must possess inner light.

All for now sugar babes!


In case you couldn't bring yourself to watch SNL, you will probably enjoy!!

Mtnhighmama October 22, 2008 at 6:16 PM  

I am so touched by your sensibility and your care for the people, your looking out for the budget by shopping thriftily....let me sign up now! Where are the buttons?

TangoBaby in Office: 2012!

I'm so there!

namastenancy October 22, 2008 at 9:18 PM  

What - no LL Bean or Lands End? What's with all these fureign names anyway? Valentino? Sounds un-American to me, young lady.

julochka October 23, 2008 at 2:23 AM  

TB in 2012, i'm so there! you must promise that i can be one of your closest advisors, like on foreign policy and stuff (since i live in a foreign country). and i'll bet we could totally share clothes, which would make even better sense for the taxpayers. or campaign contributors or whoever they are (depending on whether you're able to get in there and work with the senators to change policy and all...). now i just wish someone would tell her to step away from the brown blusher!!!

paris parfait October 27, 2008 at 2:15 PM  

Ha ha! Somehow I missed this hilarious piece, Miss Parker. Did you know they don't have Spanx in Europe??!! xoxox