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Sunday, October 5, 2008

Another Kind of Lovefest

On Saturday, I hopped on the N-Judah to head downtown to go to a friend's anniversary and housewarming party. Halfway to my destination, a gaggle of loud, crazy young people (I know I sound like I haven't put my dentures in yet, but that's what they were), dressed in what can only be described as an updated version of Summer of Love attire, crammed themselves onto the once quiet train. The girls had the headscarves, flower face paints, long hair and halter tops, but one boy was wearing SquareBob Spongepants pants under his Nesta Bob Marley shirt, one boy was wearing a pirate hat and another a green visor that said Las Vegas on it.

Once the train got going, one girl yelled at the top of her lungs, "I'M HAVING THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE AND I HAVEN'T EVEN TAKEN ANY DRUGS YET! WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!"

The peaceful ride downtown was gone. Then they sang the Tequila Song. I still had no idea what had caused this invasion, nor did most of our other fellow travelers judging from the looks on their faces, until that same girl started screaming, "LOVEFEST! LOVEFEST! GONNA GET ME SOME LOVE AT LOVEFEST! LOVE LOVE LOVE! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!"

Needless to say, she was annoying the sh*t out of me, and I hoped that whatever drugs she planned on taking later would make her shut the hell up.

When I got off at Civic Center Station to catch a bus to Potrero Hill, there were many other similarly clad "young people" swarming out of the station and flowing like a sea of fluorescent lemmings up towards City Hall. Was Gavin attending Lovefest, too? (I'm not saying that the mayor is a fluorescent lemming or anything. He did come to the opening of our local library.)

What I found particularly amusing was this line of Lovefestarians waiting in line to get cash from the ATM where I was waiting for the bus. Is there a similar line to get your drugs once you're at Lovefest? Hey, lady. No, I'm not The Sartorialist. But if you're going to dress like a demented circus clown, then yes, I am going to take your photo for my blog.

See, I told you I was a bitch. But I do like her fella's feathered vest.


My bus arrived, and I finally made it to another sort of Lovefest, but one that was a bit more real, and frankly, more loving. An anniversary party for friend from work, and his partner, who got married in 2004 when Gavin (er, should I say Mayor Newsome) had the city-county clerk issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples.

Their marriage certificate was voided in August of 2004 by the California Supreme Court.


Their house is an oasis of graceful design (he's an architect and he's an interior designer) and lovely appointed interiors, with a view that overlooks a good part of the bay. The food and wine were perfect, to no one's surprise. We laughed and mingled and petted the aging princess kitty of the house, Roxanne.

I looked at their wedding photos.

He told me how his husband sang "You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby" to him during their vows. And of course, I started to tear up and so did he.


Love is everywhere, all around us.

And you don't need dayglo fluoresent tights and some Ecstasy to get it. Especially the kind of love that means something.


Phivos Nicolaides October 5, 2008 at 10:00 AM  

Very nice and interesting pictures indeed!

Johanna October 5, 2008 at 11:16 AM  

Hey you! Am sharing your pain, frustration, and confusion. I have something for you over at Tangri-la, which may lighten the mood :-)

willow October 5, 2008 at 11:55 AM  

Heh-heh...cute post! And the feathered guy's hat's pretty cute, too.

l'air du temps October 5, 2008 at 12:46 PM  

how precious & beautiful your celebration with friends! it must have been a sweet oasis as well after your journey through the lovefest gang. i adore that photo of them waiting on line at the atm machine. fun...ny!

namastenancy October 5, 2008 at 3:33 PM  

I feel your pain. It's not necessary to scream, shout or sing off key about sharing the luve, especially when you are inflicting yourself on a crowd of strangers. When did this become acceptable? I remember riding a bus, way back when. Some kid got on the bus, playing his boombox at full volume. A guy on the bus offered him $20 for the radio. The deal was made and the new owner threw the radio out the window. The whole bus got up and cheered. Sometimes I wish we could do something similar to those who intrude on our lives in such a rude and thoughtless way.
But your friends sound like absolute delights and singing "You must have been a beautiful baby. " Now, that's true love.

Christina October 5, 2008 at 4:12 PM  

Hmm... would it be wrong to say no to drugs, yes to the Nesta Bob Marley shirt and a double yes to true love.

: ) Woooooo Hoooooo!

katie October 5, 2008 at 6:22 PM  


Anonymous October 6, 2008 at 2:14 AM  

MDMA is the business. If you imagine what that group of young people might have been like drunk like skunks it makes no sense to criminalize something like ecstacy. I for one am a big fan of the dance scene and the drugs that go with it but because so many of my friends live in a double-standard space it's best to remain anon. Harm minimisation should be the policy of a liberal progressive society. Don't become an old fart Tango.

tangobaby October 6, 2008 at 7:07 AM  

Hi phivos,

Thanks very much!

Hi johanna,

I will be over there today, promise.

Hi willow,

As I was only on the outskirts on the happening, I'm sure there were quite a few other outfits to behold that I unfortunately missed out on.

Hi l'air du temps,

It really was a wonderful event. Their home is so sweet and full of family and friends like that, you couldn't help but feel that two soulmates lived there.

Hi namastenancy,

Usually the N is pretty tame. I love that story about the guy and the radio, though! I'll have to remember that one.

Hi christina,

You know that every time I see a Bob Marley shirt, I have to mention it, for you.


Hi katie!

I saw some amazing metallic purple and green fake eyelashes on a girl that matched her entire outfit. She was too far away to take a picture of, sadly.

Hi anonymous from down under,

Congratulations on your happiness in the drug and dance scene. I hope you aren't an asshole when under the influence.

Maybe when you come down off your high, you'll re-read this post and see that you missed the whole fucking point.

Red Shoes October 6, 2008 at 10:26 AM  

I was at the university that day (working, can you imagine?), and I saw a large number of dorm-dwelling students returning from Lovefest...and I was thinking to myself--I've never been one to begrudge anyone a chance to celebrate for any reason. Life is short; we should have a good time when we can, and celebrating the wide range of love that humans are capable of is a wonderfully San Franciscan thing to do.

I really, really wish that it wouldn't be equated with drug use, brightly-colored polyester, and idiocy, however. I can see there being a time and place for brightly-colored polyester, and I'm a big fan of good-natured idiocy, but I'd like for love to get more respect than that.

tangobaby October 6, 2008 at 10:30 AM  

Red Shoes!

BINGO! I'm just going to erase my post and put your comment here instead.

I love you because you're beautiful AND brilliant, just to name a few reasons.

Red Shoes October 6, 2008 at 3:28 PM  

Thanks, but I never can match you for insight and lovely pictures. You know--two of the reasons why I love you.

mrs. sarah ott October 9, 2008 at 5:44 PM  

i absolutely loved the moral of this story. in fact you could very easily put it into childrens book form. well at least its the ideas about love i want my kids to have.